Even amidst a disturbed and loveless marriage, hope remains. As long as addictions, abuse and violence do not interfere. Weddings can be restored to blissful conditions with counseling. The answer to the complex question Does marriage counseling work is a definite ‘Yes.’ Thousands of couples who went through such advice, singly or jointly, would agree fervently. While it does appear mysterious to open up intimacies and secrets to a third person during counseling, this is a world that keeps no secrets. Social media shows almost every aspect of private lives like the food eaten, dresses worn and special interests and hobbies.
Who benefits the most from marriage counseling?
Agreed that counseling is no panacea and divorces do take place, more so in cultures of advanced and developed countries. If a couple has decided to divorce, nothing can stop them. In some cases, due to a variety of reasons, divorce may be better for both concerned and open up refreshing new lives, with or without further partners.
Young, democratic-minded couples would derive immense positive benefits from counseling sessions. As long as the love passion is present and the society does not discriminate against either sex, marriages can still be saved. The partners should be open and willing to undergo therapy sessions. They should reasonably accept their shortcomings and avoid blaming each other. Marriage is a game played by two, and children are involved too in the family.
Early counseling sessions are strongly advised.
If love and marriage problems are to be considered as a disease, it is best if early diagnosis and treatment are attempted. Humans have a terrible habit of delay, and that eventually loses focus on the problem and creates new nightmares in the thoughts. Believe it or not, some authorities advocate such a session before marriage. Traditionally, elders in the two families groom the boy and the girl regarding the conduct and dos and don’ts before the wedding. Living in intensely tricky times now, a counselor would help too! Prevention may be the better policy, instead of taking a world of sweet dreams for granted.
Stressful transitional periods cause upheavals.
Whenever a change occurs, adjustments are called for, applying to individuals, families, and communities. Marriage itself is one such dramatic change. Further, children bring a load of changes. Apart from those mentioned, some more like transfer and promotions, job changes, parenthood present challenges. Talking it over at such critical times would help release pent up anxieties. A world of reference materials may be available online, but the human element is missing. Seniors and elders often carry out such advisory services. A circle of close trusted friends would ease the process of change and help cope with emerging problems, like insurance.
How to detect the dangers of marriage bliss?
Hopefully, obstacles to happy marriages can be tamed. Very early marriages may run into problems, especially without the blessings of parents. Inter-faith unions with less educational levels with the presence of extra-marital affairs, abuse, violence, and addictions stand the most significant risk. If divorces are common in the family, it is a danger too. Distrust, contempt, and anger may worsen the situation. Communication and common ground are often lost amidst the frenzy. Does marriage counseling work is a question that has no definite answers in such diehard cases?
Important reasons to marry
Along with the physical aspect, spiritual and emotional factors combine in a marriage. A lifelong commitment to the wife, family, and community commences with the sacred vows. The hubby vows to protect the wife and children. Amidst the wedded bliss is companionship and enjoyment but avoiding lust and adultery. Service to the country is thus facilitated.
When shadows eclipse the ideal, the results may be evil, but solutions can be found. A marriage counselor is best and cheaper than a psychologist or psychiatrist. Make sure that the counselor is qualified, reputed, and recommended through friends or online reviews. Many who practice are not strictly qualified to work with couples. According to situations, single, the couple jointly or with the children may undergo counseling sessions to overcome personal disputes.
While most couples will need a few sessions to get back to a peaceful life, some may want a long relationship with the counselor. Meeting annually or once in six months with the counselor may help smoothen out conflicts and remind of good practices.
About 50% of couples do seek counseling.
Excessive stress and intense competition, over-busy lives, crime, and materialism, along with universal technology, characterize human beings today. Lost in the ebb and flow, it sometimes does appear as if life is a drifting story. Lighthouses are needed and confidantes who will understand and offer sympathy, sometimes a shoulder to weep on. Priests in the olden days carried out such a function. The marriage counselor serves the purpose of multiple utilities.
There is no reason those marriage counselors should be shunned. Despite the extra time and money spent, it is well worth the expense. Consider all the unnecessary costs on dainties and luxuries, dining out, and fancy toys. The fee on the counselor would be a tiny fraction of the household expenditure. Once motivated and believing in their need, they go out to find excellent support to the marriage. There is a lot to gain and plenty to lose otherwise.
Happy and distressed couples
Conflicts are found in every home and organization, business, and government. Lucky are those couples that have found a way to manage themselves! Like a safety valve for the pressure cooker, they do not cross the limit to arguments and realize their weaknesses and strengths. Surviving communication gracefully, promoting interaction, and emotional bonding are some primary purposes of a couple of counselors.
Along with conversations, reference materials like texts and videos would help convince the couple and children to change and improve. Building bridges of understanding calls for infinite patience on the part of the counselor. Dr. Sue Johnson developed the emotionally-focused couples therapy that has been very effective.
In the darkest days, there is optimism for saving marriage yet, without painful divorces that harm the couple and the children too. Does marriage counseling work may, however, have a definite answer. Pray for happy endings.