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SHALL I CHANGE MYSELF AFTER MARRIAGE ?

18 hours ago 236 Reads 8 min read
shall I Change Myself after marriage?

Do You want to know How Marriage can Change Your Life?  What Effects on a Woman's Life After Marriage?

 

Changing in everyone's life after marriage is an obvious thing, especially this change happens more with the ladies because they have been living since childhood, they have to leave that house and go to their in-law's house for her new life. Every new relation, whether it’s of husband-wife or friendship welcomes expectations. Once you get into a relationship you want the partner to think and behave like you (Changes after Marriage).

  • Is it necessary to change yourself in a relationship of Love/Marriage?
  • Can’t you keep your values and thinking alive?
  • Why do you need to change yourself and follow those narrow-minded cultures?
  • Why can’t you do the job that you like and maintain a strong relationship too?

These are some questions every partner thinks and struggles for answers. In this blog, we will talk about the ways by which you combat the force of changing yourself.

a couple holding hands after marriage in a jungle area

  • “GIVE them TIME”:

Is it always important that a couple needs to go together on vacation and outings can’t be done individually? Some people like hill stations as their destinations rather some are inclined towards beaches. Some feel the party as another name for outings. While some want a peaceful ambience on vacation. Giving a partner some time alone in a month to enjoy life the way they wanted. “Interest can’t be forced.”

  • India males BECAUSE I SAY SO!”

Indian males usually have the personality of “Because I say so” or “Because I know” or “It’s my family”. They never understand that a new personality (BRIDE) entering his house has her own image. You can’t force anybody to behave and think the way you want. It’s not the human right that your partner after marriage (relationship) should follow your thinking.

Mrs Gosai, a banker by profession, feels partners should always give time and appreciate other’s point of view, to make the marriage work well. She adds “YES” a partner can change herself/himself with her own will.

  • TWO PILLARS AS ‘WE’:

Every person has his own interest, ideas, experience and thoughts. Partners can have similar hobbies, but you shouldn’t let another person change according to you. Both partners are “TWO PILLARS” to a room. They both can be designed differently/painted differently. It only matters how strongly they hold the roof of Mansion Changes after Marriage.

  • MENTAL STRESS ISSUES:

Yes! You can tell each other what they can improve or choices to handle the work but burdening them to follow the way you do leads to mental stress leading to depression. For example, Every father wants his son to take over his business but if he wants his personal interest to be his career option, it is advisable not to force the kids to choose his career option.

  • “START TRUSTING & BUILD UNDERSTANDING”

Veena , married for 5 years, consulted as online at www.myfitbrain.in with emotional disturbance as her husband didn't want her to join ladies kitty. According to her, he always restricts her to make friends, join any hobby classes because he thinks a lady after marriage should be restricted to her house and her works (Changes after Marriage). As a result, she feels suffocated and complaints of “LOSING THE INNER HER”.

Trust is the most important criteria to make relationships breathe. Stressing someone to follow old cultural superstation to stay at home, only feed kids are unhealthy leading to the murder of the self-esteem.

DR. NEHA MEHTA Psychologist at MY FIT BRAIN advises it is even worse for accepting everything that your partners say. Let your inner self speak, judge the situation. Both the partners should sit, talk, discuss and understand. What can be best done to maintain both integrity of family and relationship?

  • “EGO CLASHES”:

Many relationships get disturbed because of ego between partners. Freedom is not only restricted to go out but to express what they feel. For Example:  If a partner wishes to eat “DAL” at dinner and another doesn't, the lady can cook the food she wants. It’s not the matter of EGO, if your spouse sets something that you don’t like; shutting someone’s mouth to satisfy your EGO is a big “NO”.

  • “CHANGE YOURSELF FIRST”:

If both partners work to make the relationship strong is not “COMPROMISE”. Yes! It is said after marriage the lady has to go to a new house and she has to compromise. It should always be two ways. Relationships don't say to change the person you love. It’s better to notice each other’s negatives, deficiencies. Yet it is always advisable to appreciate them to improve with love and support.

  • “URBANISATION HAS MADE IT BETTER”:

Within increasing nuclear families both the partner’s have to work to sustain a livelihood. This urbanization has given wings to partners to express and live the way they want. We are not here to criticize joint families. We are only stressing that everyone in relation or not in relation, married or unmarried should be given a right to be in the way they want. We should never change ourselves if our satisfaction is not giving us permission to do so.

Changes that happen in a Woman's Life After Marriage:

Here we will talk about the changes that happen to women after marriage because most of all there are changes in the life of women.

If we talk about the life of the boys, then there is not much change with them, only the responsibility increases, after marriage one more member increases in the family for which they have to take responsibility.

But the life of women changes completely, they have to leave one house and move to another, and also have to take responsibility for their new home.

Now I am going to tell you about Some Changes that happen in a woman's life After Marriage. There are the following points:

  • She becomes more Responsible:  A woman has to be more responsive after marriage because for a man, only one of his wife's responsibilities increases but for a woman other than her husband, in-law’s or other family members responsibility also increases. In the parents' house, the girl stays with her own lifestyle, but in her in-laws, she has to think of others before herself, after some time the responsibility of the children on her head also increases. So a woman has to become fully responsible after marriage.
  • Career almost takes a back gear in her life: For some time after the marriage, the women's career stops for once. Sometimes it happens that she is unable to continue their career again due to the responsibilities of her house, Which is the most difficult decision of her life. But She has to make these decisions for her family and Sacrifice her own Career.
  • She Starts to Give Attention to Her Family: After marriage, a woman's life suddenly changes so much that she has to think only about her family, that is, if I talk about friends or her family, sometimes it doesn't take much time to talk with them. Sometimes, You are not able to meet your friends or family members. The whole life has to be spent with her husband and children. Even if you want, sometimes you cannot take time.
  • She will be Extra Careful in Spending money: The biggest change after marriage is that women start spending less than before, that he starts saving money after marriage. Although, we can assume that the value of money is understood after marriage when the responsibilities on them start increasing.
  • Her Dressing Style Changes: The kind of clothes you used to wear before marriage, cannot be the same after marriage. After marriage, it is not necessary that your dressing sense remains the same, if your in-laws do not like your modern dressing sense then you have to change it. You have to wear those clothes in which your in-laws are comfortable. It is very rare that your in-laws will accept you in all kinds of dressing styles, if you are so lucky then you should be dressed according to their choice.

Final Words:

If you have undergone any self-esteem crises in a relationship or in your married life. Book our MARRIAGE COUNSELOR or THERAPIST at www.myfitbrain.in to seek help.

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