A single word probably sums it all up: relationships. When the dream wedding occurred perhaps a decade or three decades ago, no doubts arose. With the passing years, complexities set in amidst the eternally rising prices. Stresses regarding jobs and children, time and money, health, and education finally created one big mess of existence. Is the solution simply separating and finding another partner on the numerous marriage or dating websites? What happens to all those sweet love dreams and the kids left in the lurch? Lawyer fees, court cases, property, and adjustment problems? With about 75% of couples deriving tangible benefits, it is quite clear what to expect from marriage counseling.
A variety of tense family situations
- Both being over-busy professionals who hardly get time for each other
- Very busy hubby with an idle wife interested in parties and substance abuse
- Hectic joint business lives with 2 kids left in daycare
- An alcoholic, abusive hubby with a hardworking wife and 3 kids and a nanny
- A peaceful couple with parents and children who cannot understand what went wrong
- A cheating hubby pursuing romantic dreams clandestinely with a local starlet
Perhaps the duo needs a peacekeeper!
Like in wars between nations and religious groups, when a peacekeeping organization becomes a necessity, warring individuals need similar remedies. The most common clash of egos of hubby and wife trying to outdo each other over each little matter like the choice of sofa design or the color of the walls is a familiar scene. Like a referee during a boxing match, somebody has to call them to order and show the way now and then. Worse than boxing, life often seems to be playing games with fire!
Fighting battles amidst intense competition
At the apex of industries are the super-achievers who are unsurpassed. Most of the others have to undergo a grueling race to achieve exceptional education and professional success. Matrimony appears like a similar contest to find the best partners. In this survival of the fittest game played out in concrete jungles, it is often a losing battle, with nothing really permanent It is change and adjustment at differing levels all along the way during the long, long lifetime.
Mediators and reminders
A marriage counselor requires time, patience, effort, and payments. Closely related to the relationship problem is the communication issue. With so much media overpowering human lives today, communication is taken for granted. The truth may be different. Due to personal problems on one or both sides, maybe the relationship did not get a chance to flower. Among the many methods of interacting like social media or marriage apps, some hurdles prevented the duo from achieving understanding. Was it a third person interfering or an extra-marital affair?
Some marriages are fated to end and many of them do in certain advanced countries. Under critical conditions, divorce and remarriage for one or both partners may be a better solution. Either way, the counselor facilitates what the couple wants and smoothens the path, with thorns of separation, if not roses of restored love. What to expect from marriage counseling is most often a balm or panacea that heals.
Restoring trust and love, harmony and understanding
The numbing impact of stressful living amidst the heat of competition can be devastating. Add to that all the petty jealousies and politics, blame games, and universal desire to hog the limelight. Most people are busy proving how superior they or the children are. Houses and cars, gadgets, and dresses could become other status symbols with a frenzy of shopping for the latest products.
Analytical and diagnostic counseling
The counselor is dedicated to finding the authentic causes of conflict. The causes may lie in childhood when a tragic or sad event occurred and left its scars on the psyche for eternity. Speaking out and finding expression is often the cure. Avoid long pent up feelings, however guilty they may feel. Opening up to the counselor and answering the questions without holding back is essential.
Will it be possible to heal past injuries and disappointments that negatively impact the present life? Certainly. Put the past to sleep and heal the grievances at least by telling them to somebody like the counselor. The journey into the past will help understand the present better since time is common to both. Feel for the past and understand yourself better in the present as a product of the past. Hectic lives do not present such an occasion but the counselor will manipulate the situation and find an opportunity.
The common problem of anger management is very well achieved through meditation that brings calm understanding but not everybody may be interested. Avoiding further conflict, arguments, and violence need to be successfully done and vacations or nature music, faith healers, or spiritual talks are some palliatives.
Question and answer sessions
Be prepared to face a barrage of counselor questions to begin but the ice will thaw soon. Getting to know each other at the counseling session takes a while. It may be single or joint sessions or with the kids. Feeling comfortable may result in the decision on a few counseling sessions or occasionally across the coming months and years until the problems are resolved.
Carry out home tasks diligently
The task could be a dinner out with the spouse and kids! Writing a report of the event could facilitate understanding. Fun, common interests, and meaningful communication are stressed and what better than outings and picnics? Perhaps they did not happen for years due to too many stresses. Get out of the dark caves into the light of the sunshine after ages. Professional and personal plans for the future and a list of the gifts bought for the family during the last year are other possible tasks.
Resolution of conflicts
Seeking counseling is an admission of stress in the relationship. Nothing is as great a compromise as marriage and resolving conflicts amicably lies at the heart of it. Supporting the partner to achieve goals is instrumental. Both live or die together.
What to expect from marriage counseling is a happy ending with the rapport refreshed like after a visit to the spa. Expect positive results and they are sure to appear, sooner or later, to heal the foundation of the union, trust, and relationships.