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Special Educator, Child Psychologist
Last evening my friend called me. She was describing how her daughter had felt traumatized after attending her puberty for the first time. She had never spoken to her daughter about this before. Her daughter suddenly started bleeding. Luckily that day was a holiday for her school and she was at home. Immediately her mother helped her to calm her down and then she told her why this happened.
Her daughter was in shock because she was never prepared for any such event in her life. This sudden event had put a negative impact on her daughter. She didn't accept it initially and considering the fact she had very bad days, plus used to cry for hours as she was feeling ashamed of herself.
It’s Normal for her to find changes in her body parts like spurt in her breast size and pubic hairs. She was feeling mature and started staying away from boy classmates. All this happened just because she was not aware of what menarche is. Her parents never spoke to her about it. She was not ready to face puberty because of a lack of awareness.
She wasn't made ready beforehand by her parents, especially her mother. Mothers play a very vital role in this place. Her mother should have started talking to her once she was in her teens and about to begin the adolescence phase of her life. My friend then told me she had a tough time explaining to her daughter that this is a natural process and every individual has to pass through this. After I spoke to my friend I started thinking of my daughter who turned 10 years last month; I wasn't much worried about her menarche.
For me, she was just a kid. But then I realized she is in her teens and soon she will attend puberty. So I was wondering how and when should I start talking to her about this whole new transformation in life. This is such an important and sensitive topic and the reality of life which every individual passes through. But what is the correct age for teens to learn about their maturing bodies?
Well! I guess towards the end of 9 years parents should start talking to their children about puberty. It's no shame or anything sinful which should be hidden or children should be left by themselves to learn about. If children are spoken to and properly made understand about this they will be prepared in a better way to face it and pass through the phase very smoothly with the support of their parents.
It was Sunday evening; I and my daughter both us were sitting on the balcony of my house. I thought this is a good time to talk to her about puberty. So I began talking about what menarche is all about. Initially, she was staring at me with a very confused look on her face. I guess she was thinking about what her mother is talking about and why suddenly. But then I told her that it is now the right time for her to learn about her body and the new phase she will soon enter into.
I told her from the basics. Menarche is the beginning of puberty in children. Before they actually begin their puberty they can find changes in their body parts. Changes like the growth of hairs in their public hair; underarms. Growth in their breast size in girls and the growth of beard in boys. The tone of boys change from boyish to masculine; very strong and loud. Height in boys suddenly spurts up. They look tall and masculine. Girls leave cubby looks and suddenly look, mature young adults. This is the phase where a child is transformed into a young adult. Age is not fixed for all. Some get their puberty earlier at the age of 11 years and some get late towards 15 years. Girls need to look after themselves more carefully during their menstrual period.
It will be irregular. They might get earlier than their cycle time or even late. Several days of their periods also differ.
If teens; both boys and girls are made aware of menarche in a proper way and clear language this will help them to understand every change happening to their body. They will not get panicked when they attend puberty for the first time. If they are ready they will help their friends to be prepared. It will work as spreading awareness through your advice to others.
Indirectly one mother's mature decision of talking to her daughter or son about puberty will stop many problems that might come on her child's way to puberty. Parents shouldn't talk only about physical changes but should also talk about psychological changes they will undergo. This is too equally important to be addressed at the right age. Once the teens grow up as adolescents they start thinking differently and behave differently. Their choices change and their preferences too.
If they are prepared in advance and also guided by parents on how to deal with their own psychology then they will definitely choose the best for them. They will be ready and make decisions wisely rather than getting distracted and choosing the wrong path and feel sorry in their later life. One piece of correct advice at the correct age can stop so many unforeseen problems in your children.
Take that wise step today and be your child's guide for a better life.
Keep in mind, if you feel that now our daughter needs to tell you about this transformation, then believe me that this is the right time because your daughter should know about it before facing that situation. It would be right to keep them ready for this situation beforehand, because if he does not know about it, then he can have a lot of problems later.
Almost all the girls start these periods at the age of 12 to 13 years, but one may have to face this situation in 9 years but its last is 16 years, between which it is mandatory.
It is important for you to talk about this with your daughter, as I told you in the above post, if you do not do this then your daughter's situation can also be very bad. As soon as you see the changes in your daughter's body, then according to me, it would be the right time that you should sit with them and talk about it.
There comes a time when the girls' body changes, it is your responsibility as the parents to keep your children ready for the changes in the future.
Changes occur in girl's age at one time, then it happens to someone that they start to look bigger than their age, only because of maturity in their body. Who gets mature by their body, but the mind is their child. Therefore, the time is right to talk to them in every way. It seems strange to have all this in the beginning, you start feeling ashamed of yourself.
Every girl should be ready for getting teens ready for Menarche Problems. If Your daughter is a small age girl, then You should talk to her about this matter. I hope you will totally understand my points through this blog. If you want to know more about Psychology then You can visit My Fit Brain.
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