Are you with good Friends | Take Advice of Psychologist at My Fit Brain

Tanishka Pathak

28 Nov 2020
Good Friends | Take Advice of Psychologist

Friendships have a huge impact on your health and happiness. Good friends relieve stress, provide comfort and joy, prevent loneliness and isolation, and even strengthen your physical health. But those friendships don’t just happen. Many of us struggle to meet people and develop quality connections. Whatever your age or circumstances, though it’s never too late to make new friends, reconnect with old ones, and greatly improve your social life, emotional health, and overall well-being. Having god friends who love and support you for who you are is really important for happiness. Research has shown that the better the quality of your relationship s, the more likely you are happy to be. So being a great friend to someone and having friends support your back is good for well-being. Most of us let friendships just happen. We encounter people as we go about our daily routines, attending schools, going to work, participating in sports, enjoying our hobbies. As we make our daily rounds we encounter people that we like and, when the feeling is mutual, a friendship develops by chance. We go about our lives and “whatever happens, happens” in the friendship department. But rather than rely solely n chance to build your friendship circles, you can update and use this plan your entire life as the importance of developing friendships will continue until your dying day.

Friendships are great investments

Friends can bring fun, laughs, and an endless number of enjoyable moments into our lives. Friends can be there for when we need someone to talk to and guide us through difficult situations. Friends can be influential concerning our job/career as they become a part of the network that we use to find our way through life. Friends play so many important roles. They can enhance the quality of our lives, spending time with friends is fun, but it may also yield many long term physical and emotional benefits. Studies show that healthy relationships make aging more enjoyable, lessen grief and help you to reach your personal goals. Maintaining positive friendships should rank up there with healthy eating and exercise as an important investment in your health. Friends are great to have, their importance cannot be overestimated. From the very early stage of life; friendship has been a natural part of the human condition. If you need to ask yourself why you need friends, then I will give you some great reasons why having friends is not only necessary. It is a positive aspect of our lives. Some friendships are casual and short-lived, and some other people meet and form deep connections the last for years to come. As is always the situation with most things, having friends is not always an easy task. However, maintaining a healthy group of friends is worth the stress, and finally having friends makes one’s life easier and better.

For some, the main advantages of having a friend are to have a feeling of safety. Having someone to share our feelings and thoughts with when we are having a bad day or something personal happens to us makes it much easier to deal with. Someone you can tell about your deepest thoughts, fear or secrets and be assured that they would do their best to help you. What I am referring to here, are not just casual friends but very close friends that matter. It is also a great feeling that there is someone else in the world that cares about you and understands you completely.

Benefits of having good friends

  • They show you who are you.
  • A shoulder to lean on.
  • They keep us in line.
  • So with them, you can be yourself.
  • You can be as gross with them as you want.
  • No one will finish your sentences as well as they do.
  • They will tell you how it really is.
  • Expand your social circle.
  • They always keep you focused.
  • You are always a mystery.
  • They keep you entertained.
  • They tell you everything.
  • They have you laughing non-stop.
  • They are better at making decisions.
  • They are the life of every party.
  • They are a source of inspiration.
  • They make the best Wingman/Wing women.
  • They are proud of networking.
  • Source of gossip.
  • They provide support.
  • Source of advice.
  • They are a great company.
  • Sharing is caring.
  • Support when you need it.
  • They bring out the best in you.
  • You will get an honest opinion.
  • They help you to boost your self-esteem.
  • They help lower stress.
  • They help good habits stick.
  • They will stand up for you.
  • You will not have it any other way.

Qualities of good friends

Some people have an easier time establishing and maintaining friendship than others and some of us long for closer friendships or try to figure out why an existing or promising relationship fizzled out. In these cases, we may jump first to judge a friend’s behavior, rather than our own. We forget that relationships rely on mutual interaction. It is important, they, to examine our own contribution to the dynamics of the friendship. It is only our own behavior that we can change, and there are certain personal characteristics it’s essential to cultivate to build healthy, lasting friendships.

“Choose your friend wisely”, are just a few wise words to help you look for the best qualities. When you embark on a friendship with someone, you want to make sure this person is good for your soul. When new friendship from they need to be healthy for growth, satisfying experience and fun! Friendships should be a valuable part of our lives and never weigh us down. All the wrong qualities will only be a burden to deal with. This article explores some of the best things to have in good friends and can help you see what to look for in a new friendship.

Some qualities of friends worth keeping are light-hearted and happy, other really good qualities may challenge you or not make you feel too good. Even the uncomfortable feelings you get may actually be great feelings because this new friendship challenges you to grow as a person. Here are some good qualities to look for: 

  • Honesty: Have you ever asked someone their opinion and they seem to blah! blah! Blah! You about it. “Do I look fat in this dress”, you ask. Is there an answer, “Yes, it does make you look a little pudgy, “or do they answer “You look amazing!”? When you know in fact you look 25 pounds heavier in it. On the same note, you may ask for relationship advice, career advice, or domestic advice. Can your friend look you straight in the eyes and give you an honest answer? Or, do they see to him-haw around or change the subject? An honest friend can be very straight forward, even if the answer might hurt your feelings. This is the sign of a good friend, a keeper!
  • Being Supportive:  A good friend is supportive of your decisions. While they may offer input and opinions. Whatever you decide to go against their own grain, they don’t ridicule or judge. They support you in whatever you do. They support your individual interests, even if they are different from theirs. They may even be open to trying new things you like, or respectfully decline if it is something they don’t feel like being involved in. Support flows in without you even having to ask for it.
  • Fun:  One of the best qualities of good friends is that they are fun to be around. They enjoy doing fun things that make you smile and laugh. Even if it isn’t expensive or too involved, this person can find the fun in anything that you do. The fun doesn’t require you to work at it, it just happens. You could be at the park watching people or shopping at the mall. No matter what this person makes you laugh and brings excitement and joy to your life.
  • Accepting:  Good friends are accepting of who you are and your life choices. They don’t push you to change your clothes, your hairstyle, or do things that aren’t you. If you are quiet and they are loud, they accept that as part of why your friendship works. If you get fired up over certain issues, they accept your views and are respectful of them. They don’t fight or argue to try and change the way you think.
  • Low Maintenance:  Ever find those friends that you don’t talk to for a long time, and then you see each other and pick up where you left off. These are the best kinds of friends. High maintenance friends with constant expectations can be exhausting. A good friend realizes that each person has their own individual life, and friendship is the icing on the cake of life. If you have a friend that expects you to be at their “beck and call” this is just you satisfying their needs for attention and entertainment. It gets old real quick, or you find yourself worn out. Find friends at a similar place I live with similar schedules.
  • Flexible:  If you find yourself to be the “flaky” friend make sure you associate with flexible people. No one likes setting aside time, only to get canceled on at the last minutes. It can make some bad friendship vibes and cause resentment. Make sure you find people that are okay with casual plans. On the other hand, be a flexible friend and realize things happen in life. Always have a backup plan if you have a friend that cancels. Two tickets to a concert on Saturday and they ditched you? Have other friends handily just in case. Flexibility without hard feeling is an excellent quality for good long-lasting friendships!
  • Non-Judgmental:  You may have different qualities than your friend. We all have our own sets of, values, belief systems, convictions, and ways of doing things in life. It is very helpful if you have a friend that does not judge what you believe in, rather they accept these things as part of who you are. It is also important for us to accept others for their core set of values and beliefs. This is what makes us who we are. To be judged for our basic cores would make for a very shallow friendship.
  • Good Listener:  As humans, we need to be heard. Having a friend who can just sit and listen, is one of the best friends to have. It can be really frustrating when you begin to share your thoughts, and your friends constantly interject their opinions, stories about themselves, or talks about other things that are unrelated to your issues. In the sense to be a good friend, be a good listener.
  • Real:  If you have a good intuition, you can tell a fake friend pretty quickly. They are superficial and usually don’t talk about their issues in life. They only starch the surface of life with you. They seem to be only concerned with outward appearances, follow the crowd, and don’t seem to have any real sense of individuality. Look for people that bare their souls, prefer doing their own things, and tell you upfront what is on their mind.
  • Loving: One of the biggest qualities of a good friend is a loving friend. This is a person that is not afraid to give out a hug as needed or cry with you when you cry or do something extra special for you. It is a hard, cold world out there. When your friends warm it up with love, it is a much easier place to live in!

Signs of good friends

Friends will come and go in your life, but more important than how long your friendships last is your friends’ acceptance of you for whom you are. A good friend walks the talk and shows that they care by their actions- big and small.

A good friend

  • Is there for you, no matter what.
  • Doesn’t judge you.
  • Doesn’t put you down or deliberately hurt your feelings.
  • It is kind and respectful to you.
  • Is someone whose company you enjoy?
  • Is loyal
  • It is trustworthy and willing to tell you the truth, even when it’s hard for you to hear.
  • Laughs with you
  • Sticks around when things get tough
  • Makes you smile
  • Is there to listen
  • Comforts you when you cry.

How to be a good friend

If you treat the people around you in the ways described above, then you’re already a good friend to them. But it’s not always easy to know how to be there for your friends.

  • Listen to them
  • Get the facts.
  • Ask them what they need.
  • Get physical.
  • Keep in touch.
  • Tell them how you feel.
  • Be willing to make a tough call.
  • Make sure they’re okay the moment you sense something wrong.
  • Know when to be serious and when to be goofy.
  • Go the extra mile when they ask for help.
  • Don’t give up on them during their darkest hours.
  • Tell them, “I’ve always got your back,” at least once (and mean it).
  • Understand and respect boundaries.
  • Be honest and constructive when needed.
  • Don’t bring up comfortable subjects they dislike.
  • Be okay with gaps in conversation.
  • Learn to apologize.
  • Keep in touch and make sure you don’t drift apart.

If you feel you need any kind of help, feel free to consult our Counselors or Psychiatrist online by booking an appointment at


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    Tanishka Pathak

    Counselor, Counseling Psychologist

    Location: N/A

    Language: English, Hindi

    Area Of Expertise: Child Counseling, Couple Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Adolescent Counselling, Mental Health, Family Counseling

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    Rs. 1000.00/30min

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