Problems in Long-Distance Relationship | Marriage & Relationship Counselling

“Love doesn’t know its own depth till hours of separation.”

A romantic relationship between two people who live apart and so are unable to meet on a frequent basis is a long-distance relationship. A long-distance relationship (LDR) or long-distance romantic relationship (LDRR) is an intimate relationship between partners who are geographically separated from one another. Partners in long-distance relationships face geographic separation and lack of face to face contact. Long-distance relationships are particularly found among college students, consisting of 25% to 50% long-distance relationships. Even though scholars are reported a significant number of long-distance relationships in under graduated populations. A long-distance relationship increases financial burdens to maintain relationship. Not all long-distance relationships are romantic, when individuals go away far to school hostels for studies their relationship with family and friends also becomes a long-distance relationship.

In 2005, a survey suggested that 14-15 million people were considered to be in a long-distance relationship. In 2015, closer to 14 million people considered themselves in a long-distance relationship. About 32.5% of college students are in a long-distance relationship.

Problems Occur in Long Distance Relationship

• Communication:  It is an integral part of every relationship. Communication helps us to express our feelings and strengthens the bond between couples. It is not always physical contact what matters, but some sort of physical contact such as touch or a simple hug would be enough to nourish the relationship a husband and a wife have. It is a token of affection as well as a reassurance that they will be together forever.

• Difference in time:  This plays a murderous role in breaking the relationship. This is because you will be in one place and your partner in another. For him, the day would just start. Whereas for you, the day might be going to end. It is very difficult to find out some time to speak as you are very tired after a day’s hard work. But after some time you may start managing time efficiently. Anyway, initially, it is hard to be in constant touch with your partners.

• Difference of opinion regarding the modes of communication:  You may prefer to talk. While your partner prefers chatting. You will lose time to come to a congruent opinion as to which mode to opt for communication. It is always advisable to use an app or tool which is preferred by both of you.

• Lack of understanding:  Problems are normal in every relationship. But if it is a distant relationship the problems will be double fold. Lack of understanding between couples poses a serious threat to their relationship. If you talk over the phone you will not able to see the facial expression of your partner. It fails to create the desired effect on people in a long-distance relationship.

• Chances of splitting apart:  These partners spent most of the time individually. Gradually over time, they get a feeling that they can live alone. The feeling of commitment dies out with the passage of time. So the chance of splitting apart increases.

• Lack of attachment:  Physical touch is what nourishes a relationship and keep it going. But the absence of physical touch attachment between partners is lost. When a couple lives in distant places there will be no mental support between partners. This is the hurdle that restricts the relationship to grow stronger.

• Lack of trust:  The partners usually doubt the trustworthiness of one another. This further makes worse if the couple lives in distant places.

• Depression:  Depression can set in for individuals in a long-distance relationship when pangs of loneliness being to eat away at the essence of their mental health. A conspicuous lack of fulfillment (emotional or otherwise) and a discernible discrepancy between the image in their head and the reality of a situation can cause the long-distance lover to be depressed. The long term effects of depression can be harmful to the health of the individual partner and that of the relationship. 

• Insecurity:   Getting insecure about a partner’s interaction with a number of the opposite sex is natural. Failing to deal effectively with the anxiety so caused may create jealousy to emerge and can cause excessively obsessive behavior that may cause immense emotional damage to both partners as well as the relationship.

How to Deal with the Problems Occur in Long-Distance Relationship

• All relationships- long-distance or not benefit from open communication. Before committing to be a long-distance relationship. You should have a serious discussion with your partner about how the relationship will work.

• Before starting any serious relationship (especially for long-distance), always make sure that you have the end goal in mind make sure that you and your partner both are gong together in the same direction or in one end; being in the same place at the same time; staring family together and many more. 

• Ensure that you both feel secure in your relationship. You can do this by keeping your partners updated on your everyday life, including the people you interact with.

• Chances are that you ultimately hope to be in the same places as your partner. Being clear about your end goals will help keep you and your partner committed.

• You should make plans together. Even if these plans don’t go ahead, talk about your future because talking about the future can break the distance and make you feel positive that your relationship is heading somewhere. You can plan a trip together.

• This will be different for each relationship, but checking in with each other each day seems to be solid at very least say ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ to your partner each day.

• Make sure you have a good support network. Talk to the people you’re close to, namely your friends and family. Let them know your situation, and also tell them how you feel about it.

• Making trust on your partner is one of the most important things you have ordered for your relationship to be successful. If you have some trust issue you have to work on them or you should see a counselor at www.myfitbrain.in

• A lot of people might not understand why you would be in a long-distance relationship won’t work. You’re best off ignoring them. Just focus on your relationship.

• Stay independent; you have your own life even if you miss your partners dearly. Having your own life will give you more talks with your partners, and will make you fulfill and happy.

If you find any of these trouble signs in your relationship. Don’t get upset about it, instead take this as a wakeup call and do something different. If you feel that you need help in your relationship to consult our Relationship Counselor/ Psychologist online at www.myfitbrain.in

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