Is Marriage Counseling Worth It, What Are the effectiveness? | My Fit Brain

A lot of people often wonder whether marriage counseling is a good idea or not. Here are some things to consider before deciding if it's worth the investment.

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effectiveness of marriage counselling

Partners who are intimate, emotionally corroborating, loyal, and caring have healthy marriages. The key to a healthy marriage is the partners spend enough time together, enjoy that company, and express respect for one another. A person wants to get married to find love and companionship predominantly rather than other considerations, such as the intention to have children, convenience, and financial security. Sometimes, wedded bliss tends to be a short-lived affair as the early attention and fascination wither away paving the entry of a marriage counselor. 

Marriage counseling functions for the improvement of the problematic relationship between two persons by settling conflicts. Some relationships tend to weaken due to the inefficiency of proceeding properly. There are various noticeable reasons behind this including

  1. Insecurity
  2. Third-party interference
  3. Aggressiveness
  4. Ego
  5. Jealousy
  6. Selfishness
  7. Outrage
  8. Ailment
  9. Communication gap
  10. Others

But before discussing the issue, is marriage counseling worth it, we just need some explanations from the persons seeking it.

  1. Does the person really crave to redeem his relationship? Sometimes, people accept marriage counseling merely to uphold their apathy and grievances. They don't precisely need the remedy to rebuild their marriage.
  2. Is there any violence or substance abuse in one's relationship? If so, the person's effort to defend marriage is utterly meaningless as she is struggling to endure the criminal activity. Abusers aren’t disappointed persons; o the contrary, they grant their home front as an arena to exhibit muscle power. They are terrified people who undergo failure throughout life due to their incapability to prove themselves.
  3. Does this agreement fulfill the requirements of both partners? You must accept an honest approach to analyze whether you or your spouse are apt enough to get the privilege and adequate action from your relationship.

The changes in terms of financial or physical condition can have a significant consequence on the behavioral attitudes and activities of a person in a marriage. The significant modernization in many parts of the world paved the way for professional counselors.

Marriage counseling is specifically essential:

Marriage counseling is specifically essential

  1. If the partners frequently criticize each other.
  2. If one has the impulsive nature to overshadow another.
  3. If hatred and bitterness hugely grow in the marriage.
  4. If communication is miserable in the alliance.
  5. If adultery exists in a marriage

If one can realize that these statements are part of his life, indeed he has been seriously suffering from a disturbed marriage. But it does not inevitably indicate that break up is unavoidable in his or her life. It may recommend that he has to make an effort to attain a relaxed relationship. A marriage counselor can help a person stay on this route.

How does marriage counseling work

Some research suggests that couple counseling can improve relationship satisfaction, communication skills, and general well-being.

Marriage counseling primarily highlights, especially on communication. The most practiced method is active listening, endorsed by the late Carl Rogers and Virginia Satir. Recently, a technique called "Cinematic Immersion,"  developed by Warren Farrell is considered effective. Both methods try to encourage couples to accept a strategy to develop a stable environment for each spouse to communicate and understand their feelings.

The most beneficial treatment is Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), composed by Dr. Sue Johnson. Study shows that this therapy has been long-lasting and effective with several kinds of people. According to the research, marriage counseling comprising of Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) is proven nearly 75 percent effective. The search included some high-stress couples like senior citizens, military couples, parents of special children, and couples suffering from infertility problems. The finding is quite positive and substantial among them in spite of belonging to various cultural groups.

While evaluating the effects of couple counseling, some studies have outlined various therapies that may prove helpful. Behavioral Marital Therapy and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy reduced relationship pain measured by the Marital Adjustment Scale (MAT) and the DAS.  Emotion Focussed Therapy has confirmed identical results and is evaluated effectively.

How can we evaluate the usefulness of marriage counseling?

usefulness of marriage counseling

We can calculate the efficacy of marriage counseling by utilizing a specific survey titled the Dyadic Adjustment Scale (DAS). The marriage counseling procedure has accepted this standard since 1976 and achieved an increased success rate compared to previous methods. The major positive outcome is the decrease of grievances between the two partners. The positive results consistently continue for the next successive years.

But couples who are in a vicious relationship (emotional or physical) must not expect any improvement in the relationship quotient until the abusive behavior stops. The counselor proposes different therapy, especially for them, in order to increase self-development or to retain mental quiet. EFT also initiates the effectiveness to enhance bonding between the couples. But one should remember that the method of separation clashes with the principles of EFT. So the marriage counselors often avoid using it on the couples who want separation.

Is marriage counseling worth it to evoke positive effectiveness:

Is marriage counseling worth it

  1. Positive effects inevitably appear when the spouses have a strong eagerness to appreciate some basic skills,  agree to become conscious and increase their mutual understanding.
  2. Another important component to triumph over the negation s to avoid considering each other as the opposition. They must unite as a team member, enabling each other to strengthen bonding and identifying common happiness.
  3. Each person, in a relationship, requires to nurture forgiveness for the other ignoring the previous emotional traumas.
  4. The most important ingredient for marriage counseling is the willingness of both to overcome the complications and generate favorable modifications in their lives. Many people come to the marriage counselor with a list of objections and wish that therapist would verify his or her complaints and then work rectifying the behavior of the other person. But one must know that a marriage counselor can resolve nothing only with his efforts. Partners must be eager o change some components of their behavior.

To Sum Up

  1. Spouses who can get a positive result from a Marriage Counselling
  2. Younger couples with delicate feelings.
  3. Couples having a flexible mind
  4. Couples who still feel affection
  5. Couples who welcome marriage counseling for the improvement in complicated lives.
  6. Couples who are ready to accept their weaknesses.

Which Couples receive nothing from Marriage Counselling:

Which Couples receive nothing from Marriage Counselling

  1. Couples who took more than normal time to seek professional help.
  2. Married people who are least interested in pursuing the guidance that could save the marriage.
  3. One of the partners is addicted to alcohol,  drugs, or pornography.

If one thinks that his or her relationship is confronting turmoil, it is prudent not to wait for a long time. Find help and plan to allocate money and time for this treatment. The longer one stays in confusion, the harder it will be to mend his relationship. So finding out a qualified marriage counselor is necessary if alarming signs occur in your union. I hope the discussion fulfills your search for a certain question, “is marriage counseling worth it”?

About Author
Dr. Neha Mehta

Dr. Neha Mehta

Consultant Psychologist Hisar, India
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Dr. Neha Mehta

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Area Of Expertise : Child Counseling, Couple Counseling, Marital Counselling, Parenting, Self Improvement, Sleep, IQ Testing, ADHD, Adolescent Counselling, Stress Mgt.

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