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Consultant Psychologist, Clinical Psychologist, Life Coach
Troubled over how to know love or attraction? Let us give you an example, ever had the feeling of butterflies running around in your stomach when you see someone and you feel you have fallen in love? This is just how attraction feels. Love and attraction have a huge difference between them and often we are confused about them. Love is calm, serene, and not how it shows on television. In this article, we will help you how to know whether it is love or attraction. There are many tips to know if it is love or attraction and understanding them will help you sort your feelings.
When it comes to how to know whether it is love or attraction people often mess up certain actions and feelings and end up believing it is love. There's a huge difference between love and attraction. Noticing minor details and observing the behavior of your partner can help you differentiate whether he or she is just attracted to you or loves you and similarly, you can know of your feelings as well. So let's check how to know love or attraction.
To know is love attraction or not first you need to observe little details about yourself or your partner. Attraction makes small things a big issue. When two people are together there are often arguments and in no time the arguments take the shape of an ugly conversation. When you are attracted to the other person often you cannot easily forgive the other person. Often small things take the shape of a big argument. In love, people forgive mistakes and ignore certain things to keep the relationship going. It is one of the tips to know if it is love or attraction. Sometimes when the issues are very grave, people in love take up relationship counseling just to keep the love in there and not let it go, while in attraction people look for even small mistakes to argue.
If you can't conclude how to know love or attraction then look for the jealousy factor. People who are attracted to each other easily get jealous even when their partner is just smiling at the other person. A feeling of losing strikes in. Your trust shakes. While in love though jealousy makes for the spark in a relationship, you don't get jealous in small matters. You trust your partner and are assured of the fact that they won't leave you or choose someone else. So people wonder is love and attraction the same, both have a huge difference. Love is the name of acceptance, who accepts your partner and their circle and instead of jealousy trusts them.
Another difference between love and attraction is that attraction is destructive. When two people are attracted to each other they wish to control the actions of their partner. Further, attraction can make you harm yourself and your partner. Well, love is constructive. It helps you grow as a person. You try to make things work with calm and patience when things are not well. They even consider couple counseling to make things work out but harming others or themselves is not the case as they realize it will hurt their relationship and the love between them. Attraction is just the counter to love. In love, you want to give your partner their space and let them go their way. You just walk with them to support them.
When you can't understand is love attraction, then observe their words and actions. In attraction, a person thinks of their benefits. For example, when you decide on anything if it is attraction, you will first look for your benefits in that decision, the first thought will come about what benefits you will get. But when it is love you think first of your partner's benefits and happiness and then your own. There are things boys does when he had fallen in love with you which makes it clear whether a boy is just attracted to you or loves you. In love even if something doesn't benefit you but it does benefit your partner you are willing to do it.
Love and attraction difference lies in the fact that attraction demands physical intimacy and needs. When you are attracted to a person you always think of physical needs. They wish to spend time with you not emotionally or for just your presence but to fulfill physical needs like hugs, kisses, sex, etc. When you don't agree with your partner it often ends up in an argument. Love is devotion and attraction is lustful emotion. Love seeks your presence and emotional and mental support more than physical support. It is one of the tips to know if it is love or attraction. Love is more spiritual and attraction is merely physical.
One of the ways how to know love or attraction is by knowing in love there are no conditions placed. In attraction often conditions are put forward. If my partner doesn't do this they don't love me. If they don't have this they don't love me. Attraction always puts forward certain demands which on fulfillment only move forward. The importance of having a loving partner in life is realized in love as the partner loves you as you are without any filters, conditions, or demands, as you are. Love is unconditional without accepting anything in return while attraction is not just a one-way route and expects much more from their partner than doing it themselves.
Another difference between love and attraction is that love is not how it is always thought. People often say that they fall in love at first sight but love doesn't happen at first sight, it is the only attraction. You can truly love a person only when you get to know them. At first sight, you see the looks and the charm of the person and are only attracted to that. But love is a slow process. When you know the person, their flaws and habits, and are still willing to be them then it becomes love. People wonder is love and attraction the same but it is not that love is above and more spiritual than attraction. In love, you understand your partner and make them your own.
Love and attraction difference can also be seen when observed in a detailed manner. Attraction always demands instant presence. When you work on how to know if the love is real or not you will realize that in love physical love isn't always necessary if you are always emotionally present with your partner. A long-distance relationship works because it is not mere attraction but love. In attraction you want your partner to always meet you at an instant when they need you. It doesn't matter where you are and what you are doing but you should come to meet your partner.
By the end, you must by now know how to know whether it is love or attraction. Attraction and love are aspects. It usually starts with attraction and moves to love. It is often thought is love attraction but they are very different. Love is very calm, serene, and gives peace but at times you should check is loving someone too much right as you may end up breaking your heart if your partner doesn't feel the same way. Love and attraction difference lies in the way love makes you different and more concerned towards other people's needs and their comfort. Attraction revolves around you and your world while love revolves around your partner.
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