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- 19 - Nov - 2023
- by Dr. Neha Mehta
The following article will help you learn how to stop being shy and quiet. You can beat your social anxiety!
When a person is shy, social anxiety can get in the way of just about everything they do. Standing between them and their goals is a huge rock that can't be displaced. Simple fear of being in front of a crowd, shyness in front of other people, and social anxiety can stop you from reaching your fullest potential. If you have to speak in front of people, this is especially true. This can be a serious dislocating factor that could harm or bring down your career.
But imagine shyness going away. Think about not having to worry about others and how they see you or what they think of you. Consider how you could benefit from a great deal of confidence and no more worries about being socially anxious. It would seriously bring you up and get you into a full stride of life.
Firstly, what is shyness?
Shyness is defined as feeling uncomfortable in social situations to the point where we don't enjoy ourselves.
One definition is a feeling of fear of embarrassment. Perhaps more fully, it can be defined as a feeling of nervousness or awkwardness experienced when a person is in proximity to other people, especially in unfamiliar situations.
When you find yourself around other people, do you feel stress? Does your shyness interfere or lower your performance at work? Do you often find yourself avoiding social situations altogether? If so, you will benefit from some tips on how to overcome shyness.
Overcoming shyness is typically a long journey. You might as well start it with your best foot forward by first applying some simple ideas that generate visible results. With this in mind, here is a guide on how to overcome shyness and social anxiety.
How to overcome shyness in a relationship? Confidence is the key to overcoming shyness in a relationship. Confidence comes through action, learning, practice, and command. It will be terrifying at first, but once you just went to it and tried it, you got it and felt confident. Social confidence works the exact same way.
Feeling anxious is not the issue; avoiding social interactions would be the issue. Eliminate avoidance, and you will conquer your nervousness.
Additionally, approach the individuals to whom you're attracted romantically. Speak to them. Ask them out on dates.
Life is short. Who cares in case you get denied? There are just seven billion people on this planet. You are likely to like or be enjoyed by all of them. Take some chances and put yourself out in the world to meet new men and women.
How to overcome shyness in a child? Join a club, learn a new game, or take up some hobby. Select up a new job, take on a challenging task at work, or learn a new ability. Do something to escape your comfort zone.
Part of overcoming shyness is about being more confident in several areas of your life rather than letting anxiety, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of letting people down, or fear of humiliation get in your way. By learning new activities, you are confronting your fear of the unknown and learning how to deal with that anxiety more efficiently.
How to overcome shyness in school? Start practicing giving speeches or demonstrations and telling jokes or stories at each opportunity. Be more talkative and expressive in every area of your daily life. Whether you are at work, with friends, with strangers, or walking down the road, you can practice talking more openly. Allow your voice and your thoughts to be heard.
Confident people are not preoccupied with whether everybody is going to enjoy what they must say. They speak what's on their mind because they want to share, participate, and connect with others. You can accomplish this too. Anxiety, low confidence, and shyness are not reasons to stay quiet.
Fear of being judged also leads to social anxiety and shyness. The only way to overcome this anxiety is to make yourself vulnerable. Practice doing so together with people you're close to and can trust. You might realize the more you can do it, the closer you feel to others and also the further pleasure and meaning you get out of these relationships. This will lead to increased confidence in yourself and in social interactions.
Being vulnerable requires a willingness to let others see the real you. Be proud of who you're. Genuine and vulnerable is the quality that others will enjoy the most about you.
When you look good, and you know that you look good, you tend to feel good. Create for yourself an appealing and well-put-together look. It will boost your confidence and encourage you to be more sociable.
Make eye contact when talking to someone. Walk with your head held high. Project your voice clearly and effectively. Shake hands. Give hugs.
No human being is perfect, and no sane human will ask from another to be perfect. And you know what? Being imperfect is fine. There is no need for perfection. Internalize these ideas, and it will help you immensely.
Shy individuals don't want to take risks in social situations. They don't want to say something silly; they don't want anybody to laugh at them. But if you push yourself to do or say something silly, you will probably realize it's not that bad and gain more courage to be yourself.
Typically, shy people are not comfortable with complimenting themselves because they don't have a good image of themselves. However, push through, compliment yourself honestly and repeat this process, and it will improve your self-image, making it easier for you to be outgoing.
Action and fear don't go well together. Move around, exercise, act instead of over-analyzing a situation. This will help you get out of your head and shake the nervousness associated with shyness. In the end, overcoming your shyness is all about changing the way you think, feel and act.
Mindfulness has been defined simply as awareness. Wake up. Be present to all your ideas, feelings, sensations, and memories in any particular moment. There's no portion of your experience you need to run from, escape, or avoid.
When you are fully present in the moment, you will understand that social interactions are not something you need to avoid. You are going to perform better since you are actually paying attention to this dialogue as well as the cues in your surroundings. With practice, you can continually incorporate and improve upon your own social skills that you learn from the world around you, finally making you feel more confident.
Commit yourself to improve by writing out exactly what you want to achieve over the next 30 and 60 days and why it is necessary to you. It will create clarity and makes it difficult for you to dismiss a commitment to yourself.
Focus on making small changes that lead to bigger ones. For example, if your goal were to introduce yourself to people at parties or social events with ease, begin by attending events with the goal of introducing yourself to two or three people. Once you're confident enough in doing this make your goal of five people, five to ten, and so on.
How to overcome shyness when talking to a girl? Be prepared in advance. Are you a good conversationalist? If not, this is certainly a skill that can be improved that will help boost your confidence. Some tips on having a good conversation include:
* Desirable body language. (Everything from not slouching to your clothes, your smile and remembering to floss!)
* Be dedicated to the conversation. Be in the moment, really listening to the other person.
* Show genuine interest in the other person; they fascinate you!
* Use compliments often.
* Avoid "I" talk. The general rule of thumb is: Listen to lots, ask questions, offer compliments and avoid talking about yourself continuously.
* Know your strengths. What are you knowledgeable about?
* Use of appropriate humor is great! Laughing at yourself during awkward pauses in the conversation is awesome. Hey, it's certainly OK to admit to the other person that small talk is not your forte or that you are naturally a little shy.
* Breathe! Think of yourself as an actor. Remember, sometimes you have to 'fake it'!
Affirmations can be defined as "something declared to be true; a positive statement or judgment." Shy people are well versed at beating themselves up with negative affirmations such as, "I'm boring," "Why did I just stay that?", "What an idiot I am, "boy am I a loser," etc. Write down as many negative qualities that you (or others may have said to you) have been holding onto.
Look for common themes and then wire out an affirmation on the positive aspect of this self-judgment. (For example, if "loser" is a common theme, the positive aspect would be "I am a winner"; a more detailed affirmation would read, "I am an interesting and worthy person.") Affirmations are effective if you repeat them to yourself (or out loud in front of a mirror) several times a day for a few minutes.
How do you feel about yourself? Do you feel unworthy? Perhaps thoughts like; 'I don't fit in because I am not smart/interesting/good looking enough? Why is everyone looking at me?' Take a minute to reflect on how you see yourself and identify the root cause of your shyness. (eg, weak self-image)
Sometimes we can be too narcissistic and take ourselves too seriously. Give serious thought to accepting your shyness as opposed to beating yourself up about it and fighting it. Being able to accept and laugh off weaknesses can take the pressure off, allowing you to move forward.
Small steps at first, but challenging yourself to get out there is a key component on how to overcome shyness. You may feel like you have to "fake it" or "act confident," but with a commitment to a positive self-image and a shift in your attitude, it is possible. Facing your demons is uncomfortable, as is learning from your mistakes. Some 'getting out there' examples include:
* Join clubs or groups where you have an interest, knowledge, or experience.
* When in social situations, make a habit of always introducing yourself. Remember to smile, firm handshake, and eye contact, displaying confident body language.
* Make an effort to talk to as many different people as you can when you are out or set a goal'
* Be approachable - do others think you are hostile, aloof, or stuck up? Often shy people are mislabeled this way. Body language is key; stand tall, keep your head up, smile, etc., as this will help send out positive vibes and draw people to you.
Fear and anxiety aren't something you were born with as a trait. Interestingly, they have actually learned behavior that you can simply unlearn. But doing this requires some professional guidance. That is why you should look for a good, reliable therapist who will offer you guidance. Replace your old fears and social anxieties with a whole new way of thinking. As a result, your behavior will be much different.
Don't let yourself get run down by shyness. Banishing shyness is not impossible; it just needs a will and determination to be confident and concise of thought and to believe in that which is important for achieving your dreams and life potential.
The effects can really and truly bring your life down, even if you are talented and have a lot of skill. Instead, let your skills shine and learn how to let them shine. It may be a lot simpler than you think. You can also get shyness treatment at Myfitbrain.