MARRIAGE is the strong relationship bond made by two pure souls “THE BRIDE” & “THE GROOM” by tying a knot of love and trust together. The decision of marriage is the most fragile and greatest decision of an individual’s life. But does it always end in the happiest way?
According to researches, regardless of all the happiness and the excitement in a life of newlywed couples, it was discovered that not every couple can sustain their marriage for a long run. There are so many marriages that end up with divorce or with a heartbreaking separation. Many of the healthy married relationship glide into crises because they can’t understand how to react or work on their relationship to make it strong and evergreen. There are so many obstacles and hurdles come in the way of your marriage. Your relationship will become a strong marriage or ends up with a breakup is all depends on how to responds to such marital issues.
Previously relations sustains for longer time, but now-a-days insides are increasing taking decision to divorce is never easy. Hence, we are discussing the probable reasons why divorces are going prevalent in society. This is applicable to both love and arranged marriages.
- Cultural Failure: A marriage in India is not only between two people, it’s between two families. There are plenty of divorces related to harassment, dowry, infertility and what not but I could see it as cultural failure. Well, organized divorces do not fall into this category though. When I say cultural failure, it's mainly because two complete different cultures came forward to make this union and failed eventually. And why they failed? Simply because over a period of time the hypocrisy, greed, lust is uncovered slowly and the ugly reality brakes this institution of marriage to pieces.
- Change all but not me: Many times I have found couple who were absolutely was very good in the 1st year or 1st few years got divorced. It eventually failed in 3 to 5 years. With passage of time, once they are out of that hot steamy sex league, both of them starts finding a sudden urge to change the other person around. For what? They find poor food habits, no time for us schedule, you did this and I did that, counting all the faults in a relationship that earlier existed too but somehow got unnoticed because of other priorities.
- Poor communication: Being a husband, I have my ego in place, being a wife she must say sorry first. What! I am the fairer sex; he must apologize first for the rudeness he showed or whatever. Now both of them stopped talking for a day, week and month. Slowly but surely you both are driving away from each other. This communication failure just drives every single good moment out of both your lives.
- High Expectations: Once a marriage is over both the families start expecting sun and moon from day one expect a lot without giving it at first. Like the newly daughter in law must be a good cook and must possess all the high end culinary skills of Chef. Sanjeev Kapoor. She must meet all the unspoken needs of everyone in the family or the husband. “Don't you know this simple thing in cooking?” So what if you are budding professional in some sector professionally. Similarly, the family starts expecting the husband to do a lot of stuffs like asking your wife to do this, do that and what not. If you are opined to not, why can’t you say/get this from your wife. You are not a man!!!
- Ego Clashes: Gone are the days when only husband earns and wife takes care of family. Now-a-days, both partners have well-defined personal issues leading to clashes. Respect is the most common issues, disturbing the whole scenarios, and we believe disturbance in couple raise stress to parents on both sides.Marriage Counselors often go helpless when none of the partner wishes to compromise and bend bit to same relation. Dr.Mehta our marriage counselor expert advice “Marriage is never a 50:50 concern; it’s always 75:25. Partners should always give more from personal side to receive love in abundance later. Patience is another key to strengthen relationship.
- Trust & Impatience: Both trust and impatience is the biggest reasons for any relationship failure. Whereas building trust needs time and today’s couple are significantly impatient to give that kind of time to a relationship. One should Trust each other because when your friends can be partner in Crime then why not Husband/wife with each other.
- Interference and recognizing it: Since girls are new to a set up, they share almost everything to their parents. As parents, you find it dissimilar to your style of upbringing your daughter. Either you accept it as a different culture and teach your daughter to accommodate whatever is possible and avoid or confront your hubby where impossible, but in an appropriate manner. But ground reality always remains different because if it is not communicated the way it should be, it goes in an unintended way. And things start going bad to worse. Also as a parent you never have a control over other’s reaction. Similarly, boy’s parent suddenly start expecting hell out of everything from a newlywed and try to correct her in every way possible by any/every means and thus end up interfering badly. But the most important thing is lot of times people fail to recognize / admit it as a mistake and never get themselves corrected. If you have right parents who take both Son and Daughter equal they will be recognized as one.
- Quick Fix/ Shortcuts: People often fed up from a bad relationship end up having divorced lastly but 1st thing comes is to avoid the current turbulence and get into an extramarital stuff and mess the whole thing further. They need quick fix of their relationship issues without even noticing the cause of differences. Nuclear wars are settled on Table sitting with countries & in marriages it’s about just living together. Impossible I don’t think so... It can be worked out.
- Financial Independence: When the same daughter worked before marriage, no one asked her about her earning, preferences of job location, or job timing etc. She used be a financially independent girl. Now post marriage, boys family should understand the same and act accordingly. But no, they need the girl to be exactly as the family wants her to do with this part too. Earlier since the girls were dependent financially, they used learn to accommodate and adjust to this situation or this never been a concern. But this financially independent girl now knows to part way because of this financial freedom she has.
There are many more!!
Understand the fact that a marriage is a fresh start for two un-evolved individuals. Evolution takes time and both of you must give enough time to each other to evolve naturally. Speak to each other meaningfully and that would solve a lot of issues/air/ Misconceptions. Before marriage just understand each other prospective. If you can figure it yourself, you can take an informative decision.
Taking help from professionals like relationship counselor. Marriage counselor can help widely to seek out problems and give practical solution for personality clashes. To know more about marriage counseling procedure, check out our blog at https://myfitbrain.in/blog/marriage-relationship-couple-counseling/Marriage-or-Couple-Counselling by our experts at our online psychological counseling portal www.myfitbrain.in.