Real Reasons For Extra-marital Affairs

"Why?" Clearly, something went wrong somewhere. Here are some of the most common reasons why extramarital affairs happen.

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Real Reasons For Extra-marital Affairs

Trust is the soul of every bond. It could be a marital relationship or any other bond that will last as long as both parties trust each other. In today's world, many marriages are disintegrating, and the most frequent cause is that one partner is having extramarital relationships. People from all walks of life, regardless of socioeconomic status or place, are having extramarital affairs. Some incidents come as a surprise because things appear to be going well in the marriage. You can't help wondering, "Why?" Clearly, something went wrong somewhere. Here are some of the most common reasons why extramarital affairs happen.

We'll look at a variety of causes of cheating, but it's important to note right away that a partner does not cause their spouse to cheat. Whether it was a cry for help, an exit strategy, or a way to exact revenge after being dumped, the cheater is solely responsible for infidelity.

1. Unhappiness/Dissatisfaction

Emotional and sexual dissatisfaction with the marriage is common. Marriage is a labor of love, and without mutual compassion, couples may drift apart. Both men and women frequently cite a sexless marriage as a reason. A couple can become emotionally distant from each other for a variety of reasons, the most common of which are a lack of time, stress, and a communication gap with each other which is one of the biggest causes of extramarital affairs. 

2. Unappreciation

Feeling undervalued or ignored can lead to extramarital relationships. When both partners work, it is common for women to bear the burden of housework and childcare. In this case, the affair affirms the individual's sense of self-worth. On the other hand, feeling neglected may be the result of unrealistic expectations of a partner rather than actual neglect.

3. Boredom


Men and women who seek the thrill of the chase and the excitement of newfound romance are more likely to cheat. Rather than looking for a replacement for their partner, some argue that their fling is a way to spice up their marriage. Cheating is frequently cited as a result of falling out of love. This could be due to a misunderstanding of how love matures in marriage and one of the major warning signs of extramarital affairs.

4. There Are No Shared Interests

If you have nothing in common, you will eventually become absorbed in chasing your own diverse interests. You will not spend enough time together as a result. You will have opportunities to engage with new people as you spend time apart from each other. And gradually begin to form bonds with those who share your interests. This frequently leads to extramarital relationships. 

5. The Complex of Inferiority

This is an issue that is more common in men. When a man marries, he is made to feel inferior if he is faithful to his wife. So, in order to project a false sense of superiority, some men engage in extramarital affairs solely to demonstrate that they are the alpha. It is discovered in some women when they believe they need to prove that they still have the charm to entice and be pursued by any man and claim that this was why extramarital affairs happen.

6. Revenge


This is a classic case of an eye for an eye. When a person discovers that their spouse is cheating on them by having an extramarital relationship, they plot their retaliation. And the only way they can exact their vengeance is to enter into an extramarital relationship themselves. Even if it appears to be meaningless, it can be the motivation at times and even jealousy and is considered one of the most significant real reasons for extramarital affairs.

7. Opportunity

Absences, whether for work or service elsewhere, provide more opportunities for extramarital affairs to occur. Absence enables a spouse to have an affair without fear of being discovered, but it can also lead to loneliness and unhappiness. While a long-distance marriage is not suitable, there are ways to keep your marriage strong even when you are separated and understand the warning signs of extramarital affairs.

8. Personal Financial Situation

Personal financial struggles (excess debts and liabilities) or a lack of unity in financial planning can sometimes be the catalyst for constant arguing within the four walls. Money has become so very important in today’s world and lower standards of living due to lack of it are one the biggest causes of extramarital affairs. And, at such a vulnerable time, anyone who listens to your sufferings or offers financial assistance is greatly appreciated. This can result in extramarital relationships.

Getting Over Infidelity


Some couples can overcome extramarital relationships and have a stronger relationship, whereas others cannot. Certainly, there are times when it is not advisable to continue the marriage. Therefore understanding how extramarital affairs start is of utmost importance to be able to comprehend the next step of action. Do not compromise on your happiness and marriage just because you are scared of society. Stand up for yourself and against what is wrong and cannot be justified no matter what.

Before you analyze the specifics of the affair from your spouse's point of view, warning signs of extramarital affairs, and consider why the affair occurred in terms of his or her needs, you should consider your own needs. This can be more difficult than it appears, especially in the midst of anger and hatred.

The likelihood that you will be able to move on from the affair is determined by a variety of factors, including the reasons for the affair and the characteristics of both parties. To fully understand how extramarital affairs start and take a step forward, both partners must listen to the other and try to decipher the reasons as many times even stress and depression can affect the relationship (which can be extremely difficult in this situation) and not presume that their partner's motivation or thoughts are the same as their own. You may also benefit from the services of a trained marriage therapist.

If you were the one who had an affair, you have several options if you want to save your marriage. First and foremost, you must stop cheating and lying immediately and accept responsibility for your decision. It is critical to be patient and to give your spouse space. That isn't to say it will work out because whatever the real reasons for extramarital affairs, cheating implicates that you were unfaithful to your partner. It might not. However, the chances are slim unless you accept full responsibility (no blaming or justifying your behavior).


There are various causes of extramarital affairs but neither of them validates that having an affair is acceptable. Marriage is difficult and is not a rosy movie sequence with hearts and flowers every day. But if you truly love your partner and care for your marriage then know that where there are amazing days, there will be some difficult days too and if you fight through it you will only emerge stronger and better together.

Try to be emotionally and physically connected, listen, care, and demonstrate that you care. Understand these real reasons for extramarital affairs and stick to the vow of being faithful to your partner if your marriage and spouse are truly important and cherished to you. And remember, direct communication, expressing your needs, practicing forgiveness, and making a commitment to work on your marriage on a daily basis are the best insurance plans for marriage protection.

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Eshaa Pitty

Eshaa Pitty

Mental Health Professional Hyderabad, India
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