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Reasons of Divorce | Marriage Counselors | Marriage Counseling

Reasons of Divorce | Marriage Counselors | Marriage Counseling
2 Years Ago 37 Reads 7 min read
Nilesh Sancheti Marriage & Relationship 23 Jan 2019

MARRIAGE is the strong relationship bond made by two pure souls THE BRIDE & THE GROOM by tying a knot of love and trust together. The decision of marriage is the most fragile and greatest decision of an individual's life. But does it always end in the happiest way?

According to researches, regardless of all the happiness and the excitement in the life of newlywed couples, it was discovered that not every couple can sustain their marriage in the long run. There are so many marriages that end up with a divorce or with a heartbreaking separation. Many healthy married relationships glide into crises because they can't understand how to react or work on their relationship to make it strong and evergreen. There are so many obstacles and hurdles that come in the way of your marriage. Your relationship will become a strong marriage or ends up with a breakup is all depends on how to responds to such marital issues.

What are the reasons behind divorce:

a beautiful indian bride in blue saree

Previously relations sustain for a longer time, but nowadays insides are increasing taking the decision to divorce is never easy. Hence, we are discussing the probable reasons why divorces are going prevalent in society. This is applicable to both love and arranged marriages.

1. Cultural Failure

A marriage in India is not only between two people, it's between two families. There are plenty of divorces related to harassment, dowry, infertility, and what not! but I could see it as a cultural failure. Well, organized divorces do not fall into this category though. When I say cultural failure, it's mainly because two completely different cultures came forward to make this union and failed eventually. And why they failed? Simply because over a period of time the hypocrisy, greed, lust is uncovered slowly and the ugly reality breaks this institution of marriage to pieces.

2. Change all but not me

Many times I have found a couple who were absolutely was very good in the 1st year or 1st few years got divorced. It eventually failed in 3 to 5 years. With the passage of time, once they are out of that hot steamy sex league, both of them start finding a sudden urge to change the other person around. For what? They find poor food habits, no time for us schedule, you did this and I did that, counting all the faults in a relationship that earlier existed too but somehow got unnoticed because of other priorities.

3. Poor communication

Being a husband, I have my ego in place, being a wife she must say sorry first. What! I am the fairer sex; he must apologize first for the rudeness he showed or whatever. Now both of them stopped talking for a day, week, and month. Slowly but surely you both are driving away from each other. This communication failure just drives every single good moment out of both your lives.

4. High Expectations

Once a marriage is over both the families start expecting the sun and moon from day one expect a lot without giving it at first. Like the new daughter in law must be a good cook and must possess all the high-end culinary skills of Chef. Sanjeev Kapoor. She must meet all the unspoken needs of everyone in the family or the husband. “ Don't you know this simple thing in cooking? So what if you are budding professionals in some sector professionally. Similarly, the family starts expecting the husband to do a lot of stuff like asking your wife to do this, do that, and whatnot. If you are opined to not, why can't you say/get this from your wife. You are not a man!!!

5. Ego clashes

Gone are the days when the only husband earns and the wife takes care of the family. Nowadays, both partners have well-defined personal issues leading to clashes. Respect is the most common issue, disturbing the whole scenario, and we believe disturbance in the couple raises stress to parents on both sides. Marriage Counselors often go helpless when none of the partners wishes to compromise and bend a bit to the same relation.

Dr. Mehta our marriage counselor expert advises Marriage is never a 50:50 concern; it's always 75:25.

Partners should always give more from the personal side to receive love in abundance later. Patience is another key to strengthen the relationship.

6. Trust & Impatience

Both trust and impatience are the biggest reasons for any relationship failure. Whereas building trust needs time and today's couples are significantly impatient to give that kind of time to a relationship. One should Trust each other because when your friends can be a partner in Crime then why not Husband/wife with each other.

7. Interference and recognizing it

Since girls are new to setup, they share almost everything with their parents. As parents, you find it dissimilar to your style of upbringing your daughter. Either you accept it as a different culture and teach your daughter to accommodate whatever is possible and avoid or confront your hubby where impossible, but in an appropriate manner. But ground reality always remains different because if it is not communicated the way it should be, it goes in an unintended way. And things start going bad to worse.

Also as a parent, you never have control over other's reactions. Similarly, the boy's parent suddenly starts expecting hell out of everything from a newlywed and tries to correct her in every way possible by any/every means and thus end up interfering badly. But the most important thing is a lot of times people fail to recognize/admit it as a mistake and never get themselves corrected. If you have the right parents who take both Son and Daughter equal they will be recognized as one.

8. Quick Fix/Shortcuts

People often fed up with a bad relationship end up having divorced lastly but 1st thing that comes is to avoid the current turbulence and get into extramarital stuff and mess the whole thing further. They need a quick fix of their relationship issues without even noticing the cause of differences. Nuclear wars are settled on the Table sitting with countries & in marriages, it's about just living together. Impossible I don't think so... It can be worked out.

9. Financial Independence

When the same daughter worked before marriage, no one asked her about her earning, preferences of job location, or job timing, etc. She used to be a financially independent girl. Now post-marriage, boy's families should understand the same and act accordingly. But no, they need the girl to be exactly as the family wants her to do with this part too. Earlier since the girls were dependent financially, they used to learn to accommodate and adjust to this situation, or this never been a concern. But this financially independent girl now knows to partway because of this financial freedom she has.

There are many more!!

Understand the fact that a marriage is a fresh start for two un-evolved individuals. Evolution takes time and both of you must give enough time to each other to evolve naturally. Speak to each other meaningfully and that would solve a lot of issues/air/ Misconceptions. Before marriage just understand each other perspective. If you can figure it yourself, you can take an informed decision.

Taking help from professionals like relationship counselors. A marriage counselor can help widely to seek out problems and give a practical solution for personality clashes.

  • Recommended
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    Expertise: Couple Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Dowry Cases, Decision Making

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