“When we can no longer change the situation, we are challenged to change our self”

What does being harsh to yourself means?

This statement refers to self-criticisms; not giving any credit to yourself. You keep blaming yourself you could have done better when you did the best you could. You are constantly pushing yourself off the limits and never let yourself being over by too satisfied which is bad for your mental and physical health could ruin your relationship too. So when people say “Stop being harsh to you”, they are saying stop making yourself feel bad, it’s not right.

We usually become bad to us when are going through some stressful situation like not able to achieve. What is decided? Like if a student was not able to clear the IAS exam in the third attempt, he/she will start blaming himself/herself for being a failure in life. When you have insecurities in life when someone feels his/her personality is not apt like color complexion, body physic, teeth abnormalities, etc. will make a person judgmental yourself and results in being harsh to themselves.

Signs That You’re Being Harsh to Yourself

• You can’t celebrate your success because you think that there is still more to accomplish or that you are not as successful as you should.
• You blame yourself for every bad thing that happened in your life.
• When you examine yourself, you only see your flaws and faults.
• You feel like you don’t deserve unconditional love because you’re struggling to love yourself.
• You are second of opening=g up to people in because you think they will leave you once they get to know the real you.
• You don’t know how to be kind to yourself.
• You don’t know how to relax.
• You give people a chance to mistreat you or criticize you a lot because you’re already self-critical.

Statements Show that You are Being Harsh to Yourself

• "I’m not worth it.”
• “There’s nose.”
• “I can’t do it.”
• “I’ll never follow through.”
• “People won’t like me.”
• “Others are better than me.”
• “I’m not enough.”
• “I must be perfect.”
• “My opinion doesn’t matter.”
• “I’ll never be any different.”
• “I wish I didn’t have such bad luck.”
• “It’s too late for me, so why bother?”
• “But what will they think about me?”
• “I’m so stupid.”
• “No one will ever love me.”
• “I hate my body.”
• “I’m so embarrassed, I wish I could disappear.”
• “It’s too hard.”
• “I can’t trust anyone; I’ve been hurt too much.”
• “This (negative events) always happen to me.”

How to Stop Being Harsh to Yourself

• Your mistakes are part of your learning. Learn to be flexible in the face of failure.
• Don’t compare yourself to others because you aren’t them. You are you, so accept yourself for who you are faults and all.
• There is no right way to do anything. Don’t limit your thinking to a right or wrong way there’s no right way to be wrong things, and a wrong way to do something right.
• Stand up for what you believe, even if it’s popular. Make everyone understand your big, crazy ideas.
• Learn from people who criticize you. Don’t let criticism get you down; let it inspires you to work.
• Accept your weakness as your “features”, your past isn’t your identity and doesn’t dictate your entrepreneurship destiny.
• Don’t underestimate your talent until you apply it 100 times. Are you applying your natural talents?
• Every single problem you have is not unique. Put your problems in perspective and solve them faster.
• Stay positive take care of yourself forget about being perfect and always keep improving yourself.
• Express your anger in a creative way. Feel your anger, express it, and learn from it.
• Surround yourself with people who want you to succeed. Having people you can trust will make you happier than feeling better about it.

Positive Statement  Say to Yourself

• “I love myself.”
• “The world has a need for me.”
• “I’m unique.”
• “My problem has a solution; I will work on a plan.”
• “I refuse to give up because; I haven’t tried all possible ways.”
• “I’m smart.”
• “Today, I’ll celebrate me.”
• “I’m strong.”
• “My smile can make someone feel better.”
• “I’m happy with who I am.”
• “Every day, in every way; I am becoming better and better.”
• “I’m a good person.”
• “I’m special; I will not change for anyone.”
• “I choose to take good care of myself.”
• “My past doesn’t decide my future, I do.”

By blaming yourself, you will not be able to solve the problems in your life. You must love yourself. There are so many qualities that you have and others don't have and vice-versa. If your expectations have made you feel pressured then there you must start working on your thinking process. Enjoy your life! This is useless to always think about the future. Focus on your positive points and try to improve the faults which you think, you have. 

If you need any kind of help, feel free to consult our Psychologist or Counselor online by booking an appointment at My Fit Brain