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Strengthening Relationship with Kids

18 hours ago 236 Reads 6 min read
Tanushree Pasricha Parenting 18 Jan 2021
Strengthening Relationship with Kids

Positive parent-child relationships help children learn about the world whether the world is safe and secure, whether they're loved, who loves them, what happens when they cry, laugh or make a face, and much more. 

These relationships affect all areas of the development of children. 

Build a positive relationship with your Kids! 

  • Being in the moment with your child
  • Spending quality time with your child 
  • Creating a caring environment of trust and respect 

Create quality moments with your kids

father cleaning the hands of her daughter who is playing with white powder 

Show acceptance, let your child do what they want to, and try not to give directions all the time. If your child wants to pretend the building blocks are people, that's OK. You don't have to get the child to use them in the right way. Notice what your child is doing and encourage it. It will increase their self-esteem and motivate them to do something new again. For example, Appreciating a child- Wow !! You made such a unique drawing. Will you help me in learning it? 

Listen to your child and try to tune in to what the child is really saying. For example, if he is telling you a long story about lots of things that happened during the day, he might really be saying that he likes his new teacher or that he is in a good mood. Listen to it and respond properly. 

Think about what your child's behaviour is telling you, which will give you clues to what he/she really needs.

  • For example, if your teenage child is hanging around in the kitchen and not talking much, he/she might just want to be close to you. You could give her a hug or let her help with the cooking, without needing to talk.
  • If you can see that the child is getting irritated on anything, talk to the child and find out the reason and help him/her by giving solutions. 
  • If you think the child is getting bored at home, bring all the members together and do activities like twister game, board game, play dam charades, mimic family members, drawing cartoons, enacting stories, etc. 

Spending some moment with your child is like giving him the opportunity to take the lead sometimes. For example: When you're playing with your younger child, play what he/she wants to play, imitate her, and have fun together in the game. Let an older child take the lead by supporting his ideas. For example, say yes if he decides to plan a family meal. 

When your child expresses an opinion, use the conversation as a way to learn more about what she thinks and feels. 

Spending QUALITY TIME to strengthen your relationship with your kids 

Positive parent-child relationships are built on quality time. Time together is how you get to know about each other's experiences, thoughts, feelings, and changing interests. This is great for your relationship with your child. Quality time can happen anytime and anywhere, in the middle of ordinary days and situations. It can be a shared laugh with the children on a specific moment of a cartoon. It would be watching your child's favourite movie at this time. It could be watching your child's childhood albums with them. 

When you spend quality time with your child, you're showing that you value and appreciate them. You can take advantage of quality time at this time of quarantine to communicate powerful positive messages with your smiles, laughter, eye contact, hugs, and gentle touches. 

Have bonding exercises with children. eg. if your child loves dancing. Every day make it a habit to include dancing for 10-15 minutes in your daily routine. 

As all of you have time to spend with your children, explore their abilities, hobbies, likes and dislikes. E.g. every day do one or the other activity like one day you do Art & Craft. And see if the child loves it. If yes, then find other Art and craft activities to do with your child. The next day you can do colouring with them. Likewise, you can explore his/her abilities. 

Try to plan some regular one-on-one time with each of your children. Children have different personalities, and some children might seem to need less time than others but they'll all benefit from a special time with you. This is the time when you can talk to your children. Talk to them about their friends, their teachers, their favourite games, cartoons, their school, etc. 

Build Trust & Provide Caring and Respect to your Kids 

Developing trust and respect is important. The child feels secure when the child learns that he/she can trust her primary care to meet her needs. Trust and respect become more of a two-way street as your child gets older. 

You can nurture trust and respect in your relationship. For example:

1. Be available when your child needs support, care or help, whether it's picking up your toddler when he falls or helping your child in understanding the rules of a new game. This helps him learn to trust that you'll be there when he needs you. 

2. Be honest- Be honest with the child about the situation outside. 

3. Get to know your child and value her for who she is. If she loves football, cheer her on or ask about her favourite players. This shows respect for her feelings and opinions, and also lets her know she can trust you with them. 

Set up some firm but fair family rules. Rules are clear statements about how your family wants to look after and treat its members. They can help your child trust that you'll be consistent in the way you treat her. 

4. Use positive affirmations with children. Eg. You are strong enough to fight this challenge, believe in yourself 

At the time, parents have to say "no" to children. It's okay, but you need to give them logical reasons to say no. For example: If the child wants to watch cartoons and it's the elder child's cartoon time, you need to say no and make the child understand that everyone has his/her time to watch T.V. either you watch with your brother whatever he is watching or you can watch at your time. 

Always make eye contact while talking to your children. This will make a lasting impact on their mind.

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