Suggestions Regarding How To Break Up With Someone You Love

Neha Mehta

21 Dec 2020
how to break up with someone you love

Love is a very pure but tender thing. It needs a lot of compassion and sharing. Often love may become the drudgery of the desk. Then it must be ended with respect. One should know How to break up with someone you love.

Well, break up is a heart-rendering thing. Every relationship has a history. As the famous philosopher Herodotus remarked, it is in the stars that relation is written. Yet, stars do fall. We can say quoting W. B Yeats, Stars too have their demise. Love rots and trots away. We have breakups.

Shakespeare had said sickening and rotting love; decaying love often becomes a ceremony that is enforced. The pleasure is substituted with pain. The moments spent together seem notorious. You must know that this is the time to break up.

Herein we shall try to enumerate some ways as to how to break up with someone you love.

Try to understand reasons to break up with someone you love

Daniel Kahnemann, the famous psychoanalyst, had said that love is a tender feeling, just like a newly blossomed flower. Scratches over love can denude not only it but also decay the whole plant. As per Kahnemann, it is better to end the relationship before the decay scrambles to gangrene.

We know it is painful to eradicate a part of our soul. We know it is extremely sorrowful to accept that a part of my body that I have been bearing for such a long time is no more. Yet we must accept the fact in order to lead our life forwards.

Diane Vaughan, the famous brain analyst, had proposed a theory in the year 1976. He remarked that there is always a precise moment when the partners understand that the relationship is over. This theory is known as the uncoupling theory.

He remarks that is important to know how to break up with someone you love. He says that tumultuous mismanagement of relationships results in breaking up with each other. One must try to understand the reasons behind the same.

Here is the place where the theory of Conscious uncoupling proposed by Katherine Woodward Thomas where it is said that the couples must sit, discuss, and then try to reason with the fact that they can no longer remain compatible.

Being logical is what is most needed in this stage. One needs to really understand that the relationship has nothing to offer, and departing with dignity is needed.

It is tough to break up with someone we love or who loves us, but it is rather a kind and respectful break up than a slanderous and torturing relation. Let the breakup be respectful and logical so that both of the partners have space even after the relationship is no more in line.

How to break up with your boyfriend or someone you love when you still love him and do so without hurting them?

There are some stages of break up. It is needful to recognize the steps.

* Dissatisfaction: when both the partners are not happy with each other.
* Exposure: when both of the partners understand that there is a real problem between them.
* Negotiation: both of the partners shall try to reason with the problems and stay together.
* Resolution along with transformation: both of the partners understand and apprehend that staying together is not possible, and thus break up is inevitable.
* Termination: This is the phase when both of them agree and end their relationship.

These phases are fundamental to understand, analyze, and brood upon. We must always look forward to terminating or end a relationship while the fragrance of the past still thrills us.

We must not end up the relation in such a stand that there is no looking back. We must make it honorable. We must try not to hurt each other much, and to do that; we must follow the steps mentioned above. We must be analytical and logical, which is very tough.

There is a famous model of a break up made and proposed by Levenson and Gottman named the model of Cascade of dissolution in relation. They say that there are four negative stages of break up, which must be solved to retain respect in the relation:

* Criticism.
* Defensiveness
* Contempt.
* Stonewalling

These stages must be understood and overcome. To understand that this breakup shall make both of the partners happy, one must try to reason and understand the steps discussed.

How to cope up with breaking up with someone you love and eventually retain the relation

There is another way of retaining the relationship. While we generally discuss the ideas of how to break up with someone you love, we often do not seek the third dimension, which can save the relationship from breaking up.

Coping up is a very good theory. Donald Winnicott had said that before ending the rounds, an excellent we must try to cope up for the last time. For doing this, there are three stages of the relationship:

* Naivety: this is the first stage when a boy and a girl or a couple fall in love. They have things among each other, which they like and admire, and that admiration and liking give way to the emotional exchange and eventually love.
* Sophistication: in this stage, the partners spend time with each other and get to know among themselves better and more profound.
* Decadence: this is the stage when the partners stop liking each other, and they often desire to breakup.

David proposes that whenever you enter the stage of decadence, try to think what were the reasons both of you were close. Try to experience those days again. Talk about the moments spent together.

This re-enactment of the naive days can bring back the freshness. Everybody knows how to break up with someone, tough is bonding and staying together. To create something that takes time, and it is in a moment that everything can be destroyed. So try to cope up and run the race!!

MY FIT BRAIN with the team of counselors, is providing online counseling services, making it easier for their client, to seek a solution to the problem they are facing in their life.

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