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Why Women Avoid Postpartum Sex - How To Deal With Postpartum Sex

When you talk of how to deal with postpartum sex then you must be aware of your feelings. Here are some reasons why women avoid postpartum sex.

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why women avoid postpartum sex

Postpartum is a very difficult period for a woman. A woman not only suffers from a lot of changes in hormones after postpartum but emotional, physical, mental, and many more. It not only adds a responsibility over a mother but there are many side effects of postpartum as well like sex after birth of the child is greatly affected, women go into postpartum depression, etc. The article will be focusing on why women avoid postpartum sex and how it can be looked after and overcome. The major concern here is what are the postpartum period effects on sex and likewise relationship between husband and wife.

What is Postpartum Sex?

The postpartum period is the period after childbirth and it mainly extends to six weeks. During this period women experience different emotions like feeling empty, sluggish, and drained, and there are hormonal changes as well because estrogen and progesterone levels drop down drastically and other hormones as well. It only leads mothers to postpartum depression but there are ways childbirth affects sex as well. There are many reasons why women avoid postpartum sex like hormonal changes, isolation, stress, self-doubt, etc. There are ways to increase sex drive after postpartum like revisiting memories, enjoying life, etc. In the next section, we will talk about why women suffer from low sex drive after childbirth.

Why Women Avoid Postpartum Sex?

There are many reasons why women avoid postpartum sex. The postpartum period is a difficult phase and every woman experiences it differently. For some, it is not much difficult but some find it very difficult to overcome the emotional changes they go through. Here, we have tried to find the most possible reasons and tell you why women avoid sex after birth.

1. A Long Gap Between During And After Pregnancy

After Pregnancy

One of the postpartum period effects on sex is that women withdraw themselves from sex. One of the reasons for this is that there is a long gap between the period of getting birth, giving birth, and resting after birth. During the tenure of pregnancy, women have to wait at least 9 months and then after periods for at least 6 weeks if the pregnancy is normal before having sex. So this huge gap of around a year makes women isolated and makes them withdraw from sex. Many couples go for marriage counseling because of the lack of sex in their marriage. This is among the ways childbirth affects sex by decreasing her sex drive.

2. Stress-related to Family And Child Upbringing

Among other ways childbirth affects sex is by overcoming new responsibilities along with the child and managing the chores related to the child, family, etc. This causes a lot of stress. At this point, a woman's attention goes to the child and taking care of the family, doubts related to the child's upbringing, etc. A woman looks for answers to how to improve family relations and manage everything. This makes the chances of sex after birth very rare, mainly because of the stress buildup because of so many doubts that run through the minds of a woman and hence there are no thoughts of sex.

3. Hormones Deflect in Women

Hormones Deflect in Women

Another reason why sex after birth is disturbed and women avoid it is due to hormonal changes in the body. First after childbirth, there is a drop in estrogen and progesterone levels. Late night sleep, breastfeeding, no self-care, no proper conversation with husband, second thoughts, self-doubt, etc all affect a woman which is caused by hormonal changes and also vice versa affects hormones. The postpartum period effects on sex are influenced by many factors and hormonal changes not only in terms of pregnancy but also the emotional changes which deprive women of the urge to have physical intimacy with their partner.

How to Deal With Postpartum Sex?

Knowing the reasons why women avoid sex in sex after postpartum helps in finding solutions to it. There are ways to increase sex drive after postpartum and paying attention to those will help you regain your enthusiasm for life. Following the guide to postpartum sex and how to move towards it make the process of regaining interest in sex smooth. So, here are some ways to deal with the issue of postpartum sex.

1. Focus on Self-care

One of the basic yet most important methods when considering how to deal with postpartum sex is focusing on self-care. The majority of women after childbirth don't care for themselves and pay attention to their needs. This is the main cause of losing interest in everything. When the child is taking a nap or when others are taking care of themselves, you should focus on yourself, take proper sleep, do skin care, work on your desires, and go out, but don't skip self-care. Try to get back to your skin care routine or other things you used to do for yourself. If you want to do intercourse, learn from your doctor when to continue sex after childbirth to avoid any problems for your body.

2. Try to Answer All Your Doubts And Clear Them

Your Doubts

One of the other ways to increase sex drive after postpartum is to clear your doubts and get answers to all your queries related to intercourse after childbirth, how to manage life, body figure, and other things with the help of someone. Many women fear that their body won't be as it was and also fear how sex might affect them. They also fear that their husbands might not love them as they used to. In such cases taking sex therapy can help you know how to get back into sexual life gradually after a long gap. Taking reference or following the guide to postpartum sex can help you solve all your queries and clear your doubts.

3. Keep Your Body Active

Body Active

Another way to get back to sex after postpartum is by keeping your body active. You must consult your doctor and do some light exercise and yoga if you have a normal delivery. Then you can return to normal exercise after 60 days. In the case of a cesarean you can exercise after 3 months before that you must consult your doctor. After 3 months you can do planks, push-ups, and kegel exercises normally like before. These exercises are very helpful as it helps in increasing the sex drive. It is how to deal with postpartum sex. Exercises keep you active and remove the feeling of isolation and dejection. If you wonder when to continue sex after childbirth you can start approximately after 6 weeks.

4. Go For Couple Dates

Couple Dates

When you follow the guide to postpartum sex, you can find that it is recommended that husband and wife spend some alone time together to reconnect and reignite the spark which might have been lost between them. You can look for how to make your relationship strong. Going on dates, spending quality time together, talking out things, and understanding each other help in dealing with postpartum and bring back the sex drive. Postpartum sex causes women some pain which is why it is not recommended to go for it before 6 weeks. Hence, you can utilize this time by giving each other time, planning things for yourselves and the child. Conversing with your partner is a basic necessity to deal with postpartum.

Conclusion

There are many reasons why women avoid postpartum sex. The psychological, emotional, hormonal, and physical conditions of a woman are not in their best state when they are in a postpartum state. Proper guidance on what is postpartum depression and how to tackle it helps all women face postpartum difficulties and enjoy their motherhood period. Having a guide to postpartum sex by knowing about it, when to start it, etc contribute to making women comfortable, stable, and manage their emotions. You can always consult your doctor to clear all your doubts like when to continue sex after childbirth, what are problems a woman can face with early sex, etc. So, always work towards yourself and don't forget yourself in the postpartum period as it can lead to the biggest blockage in your happiness.

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Frequently Asked Questions

    1 How do women feel during postpartum sex?


    When you talk of how to deal with postpartum sex then you must be aware of your feelings. The postpartum period effects on sex range from individual to individual. Newly becoming moms experience sadness, anxiety, tiredness, and the feeling of crying out. They lose interest in everything, and their sexual desire ultimately goes down. They have extreme mood swings, find it difficult to care for the baby, and have difficulty sleeping. Though these feelings get better with time yet they are at their peak just after childbirth.


    There are many ways to increase sex drive after postpartum or raise the mood of your wife during postpartum. Both husband and wife can learn how to handle newborn baby and care for the baby in turn. Further, husbands should try to be emotionally available to their partners. Hear your wives and support them through this period. Further, never say anything that can even slightly hurt her emotions. Go on a date together, make her feel special but don't force something on her that she isn't willing to do.


    If you are wondering when to continue sex after childbirth, the normal period is after 6 weeks. Before starting your sexual life you must consult your doctor and do some light exercise and yoga if you have a normal delivery. Then you can return to normal exercise after 60 days and move on to sex. In case of a cesarean you can start exercise after 3 months before that you must consult your doctor. After 3 months you can do planks, push-ups, and kegel exercises normally like before and start sex.


    One of the reasons for this is that there is a long gap between the period of getting birth, giving birth, and resting after birth. During the tenure of pregnancy, women have to wait 9 months and then after childbirth for at least 6 weeks if the pregnancy is normal before having sex. So this huge gap of around a year makes women isolated and makes them withdraw from sex. This is one of the ways childbirth affects sex. Postpartum sex causes stress and anxiety along with hormonal changes that also divert women from sex.


    Postpartum sex causes anxiety and sadness in women and this might bring a difference in their relationship. You should learn how to fix marriage without counseling. Though many husbands support their wives during this period and provide them emotional, physical, and mental support, some men do not understand the pain a woman goes through and changes their behavior towards their wife after childbirth when she rejects sex. They fail to understand the emotional trauma of their wife.

About Author
Dr. Neha Mehta

Dr. Neha Mehta

Consultant Psychologist Hisar, India
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Dr. Neha Mehta

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Area Of Expertise : Child Counseling, Couple Counseling, Marital Counselling, Parenting, Self Improvement, Sleep, IQ Testing, ADHD, Adolescent Counselling, Stress Mgt.

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