May 16, 2018
Q. My child is 10 years old. He is poor in his studies. He is in a Bengali medium school here in W.B. Me and my husband trying hard to support him in his studies but he is not able to improve. We have a shop of vegetables. We are not that much economically strong like others, still trying hard to give him a better future with education, food and environment. But I came to know from school that he has been caught by headmaster on the ground with cigaret. He has started smoking but how and from where did he learned to do this we are clueless as his father doesn't smoke. We are very upset with this thing. I asked my son about smoking so he lied us by saying that headmaster doesn't like him that's why headmaster has punished him with fault case. I have talked regarding this matter to school so they have advised me to go for counseling help. Please help me what should I do?
Hello dear!! I can understand the phase you are going through, every parent gives their best and wish for better future for their kids.
I empathise that after getting complaints from school authorities , life of you both got upside turn.
Don't worry , they advised you appropriately to visit the counselor. It will help your kid to get out of vicious habit soon.
Present problems mentioned:
1. Caught of taking cigarette on school premises.
2. Denying the fact by saying headmaster is against him.
3. Putting less efforts in studies despite knowing parents economic conditions.
Probable causes may be :
1. Pressure of working hard: sometimes kids don't express but pressure of working hard nd achieving better in life make them stress and make it follow bad habits like smoking
2. Bad company: kids use substance as fun and try element.
Bad company of school mates provoke it.
3. Break up stress: break up is not merely by girlfriend , it can be with best friend or school mates,ignorance and bullying by school mates.
4. Genuinely,he wasn't doing it but someone, puts blame on him incidently he get caught.
The reason can be any of these. So suitable advices for you as follow:
1. Don't loose hope: He's small enough to understand right and wrong so early, your guidance will be great benefit. Give him time, sit with him, ( don't pressurize) ask him truth.
Know the exact reason and guide him accordingly.
2. Rule out fear: if you feel he's in fear of some seniors or in stress , discuss properly take suitable help like visiting school counselor or child guidance clinic accordingly.
You know your kid better.
3. If he become obsessive that he hasn't and going violent, better visit a child counselor nearby and schedule appointment, they work professionally and experienced to rule out reason and guide.
4. Take a proper check at his school routine, school bag, clothes of having lighter or cigarette packets..
Room and drawers are also in list.
5.A better guide to truth will also be his friends, talk to them, their information might help you in clearing the scenario of blaming or exactly doing.
6. Father talk:man to man talk bring results, women are emotional sometimes, let his father talk, he's really small to have smoke.
Tell him the affects and consequences in reality touch.
7. Work on school environment also,if it's case of bullying, blaming or anything else, changing school is not a bad option.
8. Give more care and attention.
Help him in studies, stressing him to study by giving list of responsibilities in future is sometimes okay, but not be a must dose.
I hope these advices will help!!
All the best to kid!
Read More Related Faqs
Q. What is counseling?
Saying it simply, counseling is consulting with a therapist who is an objective, non-judgmental and professionally trained person, with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and feelings. This helps you to understand yourself better and helps you to address your emotional difficulties in a more adaptive fashion. These difficulties could be something you are facing in day to day life, a sit.....Read Full Answer
Q. What to expect from counseling?
Any emotional problem or difficulty has its roots in our inner nature. Our feelings depend on how we think about ourselves, others and our situations. Often we think in ways that are not rational or we think about situations mistakenly. This is not because we are “foolish” or “wrong” in any way but because we have learnt to think of certain things only in certain ways. B.....Read Full Answer
Q. Can I be friends with my therapist?
The therapist is your friend. She has your concern the closest to her heart. However, she is a professional and like every profession, being a therapist too comes with a code of dos and don’ts. Hence you pay for her time with you. Most of the time involved in therapy is focused on dealing with your emotional difficulties. However you can occasionally talk to her about your and her hobbies.....Read Full Answer