Sep 20, 2017
Q. I'm a 34years old married lady. I have a boy who studies in class 2. We are in a joint family. I'm professionally a teacher of a primary school of my father. I don't have mother-in-law. My problem is that my husband is a qualified teacher and was in the business of bhujia/snacks(parental business) previously. He was doing well and earning well in that business. He's good in business and side by side he was also engaged in private tuition at our place. But my father-in-law doesn't want him to do this bhujia/snacks business as all the members of my family is in teaching profession even he is also a private tutor. He stopped that business and now he is only in private tuition. From then we are facing some economical stress on us because our business was the main source of earning. He uses to feel very low and frustrated. Sometimes we avoid social gatherings due to this reason. I also do feel awkward while going to any family get together. Now, no any member of the family is helping us. We don't have any communication these days. Sometimes we are not able to fulfill our child's need. It's like the relationship has lost its energy. What to do don't know?
Hello dear!!! I can understand the situation you and your spouse are dwelling in as obeying elders are our first moral value.
Your father in law want your husband to make his career in teaching profession by leaving
Family business (which he was also doing previously ) as all his family people are in teaching profession.
Dear, every parent want his kid to be best. I think, his decision was to give a respected professional position to his son which he's capable of.
Old people believe that respect matters more than money and this is what he want from you both.
But,the problem resulted in socio economical stress.
As you mentioned, business was earning source for your family.
》Due to which your relatives as well as you started distancing, lost communication, helping in needs .
》Your husband is feeling frustrated and low for it..
And as a parent, you are feeling that you were not able to fulfil needs to kid.
Dear, as your father in law also gives private coaching,you are also earning bit, your husband is giving tuitions too and you have one son.
Don't worry.. what your father In law planned was a long term plan as he has virtual view of future.
My piece of advice for you are:
1. Talk politely: you and your husband should sit with your father in law and with all emotions let him know the problems you both are facing by leaving the business.
Show him the last grocery amount and previous amount that you reduced buying due to money issues, give him substance proof and tell him the guilt you develop for not fulfilling the wishes of kid.
Trust me,he love your son more than you do..
Talking with him let him ponder upon his decision.
2. Convey him that,time has changed,now money has power over respect , caste system turned to class system.
3. The talk in the family should always start from general to specific .. firstly appraise the decision taken by him,then tell him the problems.
4. If still he doesnt convince,You and your husband along with your father in law should start a personal private coaching centre at home and prioritize it as business profession.
5. Don't let your husband go sad and low, go join family functions ,to set new business you always needs to start from pin.
Don't worry,give time..
Profession your father in law choosen is not bad.
6. Lastly,the more you both keep yourself happy and focussed ,the more earning will come.. you both husband wife are the pillars of house.
Be happy in what you both have,do meditation , yoga together. Support him,give time ,things will be much better.
All the best
Have a blessed life ahead
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