Q. I'm 28 years old male. I have responsibilities on me like running my house, taking care of my aged parents, younger sister's marriage etc. I am taking care of sisters education by my own. So I use to do over timing so that I can earn more money for my sister's marriage in future. I don't have any time for myself. Rather to say I have given my life to my family. I feel very lonely and frustrated. I want to have my own life want to have friends as well as want a girlfriend/wife but due to family responsibilities am not able to maintain my personal life. Please guide me what should I do?? Can I get a normal life of my own? My own family wife children friends are these possible for me to get? Please guide me -
I felt so happy to hear that you are doing efforts for your family, you are the best son and brother anyone can get. You are a good example to the society. I can empathise that In these responsibilities load, you are not able to give time to yourself. But, don't feel negative that you can never get your own family (wife and kids), the family you are caring is your family too. The problem is, you are not giving time to yourself, Nobody ever is going give you time in life saying go and enjoy, you yourself have to take it out.
Problems facing :
1. Burdened under responsibility
2. Feeling lonely and frustrated.
3. No friends and love support basically personal life and time.
4. Reduced hope for having a good personal future.
I can say, you are tired of working. you need to take some Me time out. I know it's important, to earn bread and butter but, dying inside, will not let you enjoy food.
My suggestions for you as follows.
1. Patience: as your sister is studying, don't lose hope, once she will start earning, she will be a supporting hand to you.
2. Plan a trip: plan a small trip to some peaceful area like temples or lakes or hill station and take a break. Either you can plan to visit your relatives and school friend. Spend time, get refreshed and start new.
3. Take some Me time: See what your hobbies, do it.
If you feel you can't do it daily: do it once a fortnight
A. Take half the day of leave for yourself, go meet your old friend, sit with them, interact.
B. Don't work even on paid holidays, to have more money, enjoy it's for you, relax. Go for oil massage at home from your sister hand, enjoy Mumma' s hand food, relive moments with father.
C. Start enjoying morning walk, spending time with nature give pleasure and peace to the soul.
D. Go with the flow, discuss with family your need for a life partner, they will understand it, moreover, she will be add on support to you in your journey of life.
E. Put your mental health on priority: if you feel frustrated, go sleep for some time, take proper naps and food.
F. Ask for help from your family members in small chores of home, there's no harm in it.
G. Tries to say No if you feel Burdened, do Lil but do wholeheartedly.
4. Meditate: you can practice it early morning and as well as in-office hours to maintain internal peace and happiness. Check on hold with breathing and enjoy blissfulness.
5. Activate your social media profiles, chit chat, make friends, interact.
6. Set goals of life: don't move in the race of earning money, set goals and meet them patiently.
7. Take help from a counsellor, in case you feel negative and stressed. You are important to your family but yourself first. They are dependent on you is no problem but a proud for you.
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