Q. Am a 24 years old girl, married last year. Before marriage, we were engaged in phone romance with each other. I was satisfied then as his sensual talks make me more erotic. But after marriage when we had real physical intimacy I'm not satisfied with him. I have approached him for that type of erotic word exchange and all but he is so cold. I started becoming frustrated due to this and also became aggressive. We stated to having fight every day. So decided to get separated. But again he tried to convince me and again we became intimate but the problem persisted as he was not able to satisfy me. One day I became so aggressive and started fighting with him. Now my husband wants a divorce. I have left my job. Am feeling more depressed. It's all my fault. Please help me to overcome this situation, I don't want a divorce from my husband. Please help me. -
Hello lady, first of all, congratulations on your Marriage! Secondly, Don't be stressed, your husband loves You, so do you. I can understand the scenario over your place, you don't need to divorce him rather apologize for your behaviour.
As the problem stated by you is:
1. Not feeling sexually satisfied as expected.
2. The circle of frustration- Anger- Fights continuing.
3. Stressed as alone you are happy even.
Darling, I can understand your part as lady, satisfaction is important but respect and love are more important in a relationship. There are ladies who wait long as their husbands are on border serving country. Do they frustrate and plans to leave? Dear, the problem is not you, desire is normal, the problem is the expectation which he himself raised. (As he only fantasized you by erotic words)
So, here are some solutions for you:
1. Do meditate, it will help you to control your frustration and anget.will deviate you to positive energy around.
2. Join job, keep yourself working, as more you will alone, you will miss everything.
3. Go apologies to your husband. Marriages are bonds for life, its not easy to get a good husband like him.
4. See, those words are spoken by him only. He can say all that you need, but those words need adrenaline rush and fantasy. Maybe responsibility after marriage made him feel low on that regard. Explain to him what you want but it's not only one.
4. Go for some cosy, seducing message at night, to make him feel relax then, maybe things will process in an expected way.
5. You can also plan for baby( that will give you answer to all your solutions), you both will be in more stronger bond then.
6. Psychological counselling, couple therapy will be of more help.
7. Remember, love and respect is important , seX is secondary. All the best!!! May you both live a thousand years of togetherness.
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