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Hello man !! I really appreciate your open - mindedness that despite of being atheist you still try to be present at family rituals and attend temple too.
Its not always necessary to have a tag on you of some guru or religion.
As you seen many of them as mere brainwashers (ram rahim case).
Rituals and cultures are man made, and just ways to take you to the ultimate power 'truth'.
As you said, you had lots of cold debates with your family and society over it, thts obvious as the things that people( don't feel normal) , you will have to fight for them.
But maintain this cold war of thoughts firm and be happy..
So some of my suggestion would be :
1. Don't stress, don't feel bad, be true and honest with good people around you is the ultimate ritual.
( Nar sewa, narayan sewa)
Donate to the needy.
2. Respect ladies, kids, environment, aged this is all every religion say..
Do it either it's under name of ritual.
Like : rakhsha Bandhan
Its for your sister.
Diwali , for happiness around.
3. I know you are doing best, still try to be atleast there when your family perform it. Don't go negative for them.
Your thinking should be :
I don't believe in this, but if other do so, I have no negativity for them.
4. If you feel that this atheism has just developed , i don't want to be same ( atheist) and it's hampering you
Seek help from psychiatrist and psychologist.
5. Be a good and healthy individual, rather than a religious follower.
6. For future, as you get married, please do tell your wife about it before
And don't ever forcefully let them( wife and kids) stop if they feel connected to god through rituals.
Have a happy peaceful life !!