How to Make Friends

Neha Mehta

27 Nov 2020
How to Make Friends

How to Make Friends?

Complicity, support, laughs friends bring an emotional bond, which we all need. There are of course childhood friends but, let it be said, you can make very strong friendships at any age. Our advice for meeting new people.

Friendship is an essential social bond for human beings, which allows them to flourish while isolation is waning. To sympathize, before deepening emerging ties, adopt the right attitude. And give yourself time.

In fact, you are very nice! Because with the closed face you had on the street, I really didn't want to approach you. The young mothers crossed paths with each other for months after leaving school. The delay of a meeting of parents of students led them that day to the local bistro, and allowed them to discover the potential for friendship.

Why do we come to ask ourselves this question: How to make friends?

Instinctively we know how to get closer to the people who correspond to us and for whom we feel sympathy, we are also able to feel if this sympathy is mutual and can lead us to be friends.

From childhood, in nurseries, schools, we learn to live in groups, and to communicate with others, to build relationships, to communicate and to sympathize with our little friends.

So why is it more difficult to make friends as an adult?

By becoming an adult and over the years, the conveniences, the shyness, or the circumstances of our life course, often make us lose this spontaneity proper to children, to go easily to others. And to make matters worse, the separations, the moves, the material constraints, also complicate our friendly relations.

If when we were children it was easy to make friends, grown-up the ability to make friends is not like riding a bicycle, and we may have forgotten how to do it.

  • To make friends, start by defining your priorities

What do you expect from meeting your next friends?

You may want to meet new friends, to get out of solitude, to integrate into a social network, or to participate in activities or hobbies that you do not plan to practice alone.

Depending on what you expect from the new friendship that you are going to build, the places or the circumstances allowing you to make friends can be very different, and the way you go about it too.

  • Build your own friendly network

Friendship is not monogamous, you can of course have a best friend or a best friend, but friendship is a feeling that you can share without complex or ambiguity with several people, and thus find yourself integrated into a network of friends.

Start by defining who can already be part of your network, or who can contribute to its creation. It can be a family member, a co-worker, a neighbor for whom you have sympathy. By getting closer to these people, you can have the opportunity to be in contact with their own friends, who can also become your friends.

Choose the most dynamic and optimistic. If you realize that you have no friends and suffer from them, now is not the time to surround yourself with people who are too critical or depressed, they could be toxic to you, and you need friends to improve your life, not make it more complicated.

  • Meet friends near you

With your friends, the idea is to be able to see each other easily, and for that to live in the same district or the same city greatly facilitates the opportunities to meet when you feel like it.

Your future friends may already be close to you: local clubs or associations are great ways to get to know people with whom we will share common areas of interest.

In the context of these clubs and associations, it is not uncommon for outings to be offered, and these outings also promote knowledge of others as well as friendships.

  • Put your skills forward, to please your future friends

To attract the sympathy of others, you must present them with an image that will make them want to know you more.

Highlight what you are passionate about, and chances are you will interest the people you will meet. There’s nothing easier than starting a conversation around a topic or activity that you know.

Whether it's about the subject of a film or a book that you liked, a sports activity that you practice or a city that you have visited, talking about it will make conversation easier. It will also allow you to feel more confident, and possibly overcome shyness.

  • Don’t hesitate to take the first step to make friends

Preparing to meet friends is not preparing for a job interview. The stakes are different, don’t think you’re going to be judged on whether or not to be your friend.

Be natural and don't be afraid to reach out to others, you will show your sympathy for them, which in turn will make them want to go to you.

Too often we see, and particularly on websites, that some expect everything from others, by publishing this type of message: "write to me, I will answer you". There is no way that this message will inspire the desire or curiosity to go to the person who posted it.

Simply showing sympathy and interest in someone is "the minimum to make a friend."

  • You are not alone in trying to meet friends.

Our current constraints are different, but everyday life with the imperatives of work, housing, transport, make human relationships more difficult. In our contemporary societies many people suffer from loneliness, however very often we are surrounded by people with whom we could have friendly relations, but we pass without seeing them.

Open your eyes, your next friends may be much closer to you than you imagine: neighbors, co-workers. Think they can be just like you, looking for friendships. It can also sometimes take a few clicks on your computer to meet them.

  • Kill two birds with one stone: Hobbies and Friends

Cultural or sporting activities allow you to share the same emotions with other people. You kill two birds with one stone, you have fun by practicing an activity or leisure that you like, and have all the chances to sympathize with the other participants in these activities or these leisure’s, and to make friends of them.

Whether it is sports clubs or cultural associations, among the people with whom you are going to share activities, there is a good chance that some may become friends that you will see outside the framework of these activities. In addition, you know that you already share with them affinities or centers of interest that bring you closer, and allow facilitating communication around these subjects.

  • Holidays and trips to make friends

During the holidays and if you can afford it, traveling is a great opportunity to make friends. Whatever form of the next vacation you are planning, one thing is certain; during the holidays we are more available to meet others and to make friends.

You can go to a club where you are going to meet other singles, parties or sport, or just plan a sport or yoga camp near you.

If your vacation project is centered on tourism, cultural or sporting activity, this will allow you, by practicing an activity and integrating yourself into a group, to facilitate your communication with others.

Whether your next vacation is at the end of the world or a few hundred meters from your home, your communication with others will be facilitated by sharing activities. Chances are you will continue to see some of the participants, and they will become your friends.

  • In the meantime, please your best friend: yourself

While waiting to make friends, treat yourself, your morale will be high, which will then make you much more available to get in touch with others? Sometimes very simple things are enough to feel good, even if you are alone.

Take care of yourself and at the same time, you will gain confidence in yourself. A relaxing bath with subdued light and background music, or simply by resuming the reading of a book that you had left out, and off you go for an inner adventure that will relax you and then give you the edge insurance needed to reach out to others and make them your future friends.

  • Make friends on the Internet and on social networking sites

We are well aware that the major international networking sites make it possible above all to be in contact with people, family or friends, whom we already know.

On the other hand, the sites specializing in friendly meetings, offer you the possibility of meeting people in your environment, your city, your region.

By registering on a friendly dating site, choose the one that will give you the most guarantees on the security and the quality of its members.

A friendly network site like filters and selects registrations, so you don't get bothered by people you don't want to meet.

Members register on specifying a minimum of 3 activities or centers of interest. You can search for members, in your region or in your city, and according to activities or interests that you want to share.

No, you are not invulnerable, imprisoned in your inner heart. Show that you can be moved, in front of a beautiful landscape, a piece of music, but also when a remark hurt you. Then say "I", without accusing or judging the other. "I felt touched by your words” You will build confidence. Friendship works on a principle of reciprocity, if you are a big ear for the other, it must be for you too

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    Neha Mehta

    Consultant Psychologist, Mental Health Professional

    Location: Hisar

    Language: English, Hindi, Punjabi

    Area Of Expertise: Child Counseling, Couple Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Parenting, Self Improvement, Sleep, IQ Testing, ADHD, Career Counselling, Adolescent Counselling, Motivation, Family Counseling

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