Traditional society does prepare the boy and the girl for the coming marriage, counseled by parents, elders, and community leaders. Otherwise, it would appear quite a trial for the two youngsters to embark upon the wedded life suddenly. With many expectations and responsibilities of kids in the offing, conjugal life does appear a difficult task. Values and social systems have changed so much with the mighty advancement of medical science, and nothing is private and secret anymore. Just like the marriage counselor and couples therapy may be required when problems occur after marriage, why not seek such professional advice before commencing married life? Explore the answers to the question: What is premarital counseling?
Marital bliss shrouded in secrecy?
Probably, most couples would avoid such an idea. It seems as if the sanctity of wedded bliss is getting compromised. As universally agreed upon, confidentiality is essential not only in government security systems but also in interpersonal relations. Each family feverishly guards its secrets as do businesses. Definitions of marriage are hard to agree upon. Most would agree that it is a partnership with mutual sharing and benefit to society besides procreating the next generation. Considering all the formalities involved in marriage, it does appear more of an official procedure than personal agreements alone.
Loss of privacy in the digital world
If success depended so much upon closely guarded secrets, digital media reaches everywhere. Social media intrudes into private lives, and people do not hesitate nowadays to reveal themselves in text, images, and videos to the public eye. Consider the fantastic world of celebrities and how every bit of iconic life turns into gossip for adoring fans. Social media has become almost everybody into some stars. Many begin to think likewise. Introverts may not feel so comfortable, but it is a world interested in the frankness with no dirty secrets to retard progress. Living up to the times is the best policy!
Two lovely beings on the threshold of a complex future
Most marriages, perhaps in the early twenties, bring together inexperienced individuals lost in dreams. They may not be professionally or financially secure yet but hope for the best in the years to come. Traditional societies may still follow a joint family system that is an advantage. Religious, cultural, and political differences may create a gulf hard to bridge. With no warranties, marriage does appear to be a game of chance. Luck may well decide the future!
An urgent need for premarital counseling
Excessive communication characterizes the present-day world that uses technology as if it was magic. Instead of creating so many divine mysteries out of marriage, why not draw up a map of the future as if proceeding on a business enterprise? The union in wedded bliss would involve some crucial factors:
- Managing the family and rendering community duties
- Singly or jointly generating professional incomes
- Managing the home, money, and property
- Birth and upbringing of children
- Managing the conflicts that may arise
- Social, political and religious factors
- Legal disputes
- Education of children
While family and friends are carried away for the moment in the dreams of marriage, consider the mountains of duties that will unfold in good time. Individually or together, some sessions with an able premarital counselor would put things in the right perspective. Yet, what is premarital counseling, and how will it help the marriage succeed?
The lessons that research teaches
While considering the wide prevalence of divorces, broken homes, and suffering children, great care is needed to safeguard marriage. Research also reveals that those who go through premarital counseling stand a far greater chance of making a success of a marriage. Though it appears like an invasion of privacy and the thought of opening intimacies with a stranger is frightening, it is safer. Like a third person playing the marriage game, the premarital counselor is more reliable than having another lover or two.
The grand marriage picnic party!
We are agreed that marriage like picnics and parties is a fun game. Just like these social occasions are planned, budgeted, and carried out with lots of careful planning, so is marriage. What will such a planning process likely deal with?
Marriage roles and expectations
Though it will be hard to talk about something like a wedding not occurred yet, remember the picnic and party analogy. Much can be told in advance about what the months and years of marriage will turn out to be like. What the couple expects of each other is something they can certainly talk about and not in ideal but practical terms. Do they agree? Perhaps they feel there is no problem amidst the profound love of the moment, but that excitement will fade with time. The counselor would throw light upon some of these marriage duties, just like teachers and parents and elder siblings do in some senses.
Communication and settling conflicts
Weak messaging and a loss of coinciding identities have often ruined marriages. If the couple cannot see eye to eye on essential concerns, the marriage is doomed. That is why similar professionals, like both being doctors, would help with the higher agreement. Nowadays, when hubby and wife text each other on WhatsApp, there seem higher chances of success. When conflicts do arise as they will on some occasions, the need to find peaceful resolutions is paramount. Laying a foundation of speaking out and seeking help like marriage counseling when needed, is the right spirit. Both are thus prepared and understand some of the possibilities of the future. Moreover, they will get realistic and stop living in dreams for too long.
Like drawing up budgets for every significant purchase like land, house, or a car, some plan for incomes and expenses will have to be spelled out. In real terms, envisaging the future in terms of money will help make the marriage stronger.
Family and children, love and sex
Intimacies will concern how many children are being planned and whether financial resources exist to support them. Sensitive matters like love and sex need to be dwelt upon too. The counselor does achieve a bit by connecting the past and future, analyzing family relationships, and forging a better understanding of marriage. What is premarital counseling that seems to be a little question with an intricate meaning?