The Art and Science of An Effective Apology
- 01 - Jun - 2020
- by Shiwani Gurwara
Have you hurt someone? And now feeling sorry but don't know how to apologise in the best way possible? Don't worry here in this article we will talk in details.
Have you hurt someone? And now feeling sorry but don't know how to apologize in the best way possible? Don't worry here in this article we will talk in detail about what is Apology? When should one apologize? And How to apologize to someone? All of us make mistakes but after making them we should apologize for the same thing. Apologizing for your fault is the best thing one can do to maintain their relationships more healthily. We all should take responsibility for our mistakes as it not only helps you to live your life without holding any grudges for anyone but also to enjoy a peaceful life.
An apology is a way of expressing your feeling of guilt, and remorse. For example- There was a girl named Tisha, who fought with her friend and it was all her fault due to the fight happened. And then she was sorry for her mistake and subsequently asked for an Apology from her friend. Saying sorry to someone is important to maintain a good relationship.
When you do something hurtful or say something hurtful. It just breaks the person emotionally and mentally. You can also take the help of anger management counseling if you have anger issues and think you hurt people quite often unintentionally. So, one must Apologise for their mistake. So, let us know to acknowledge a few ways to apologize and understand how to apologize when you hurt someone:-
To apologize in the best way firstly you must acknowledge your fault. Understand where you made a mistake and know how to say sorry to someone you hurt. Let us understand this by talking about one example - Neha and Nutan have been best friends since childhood. One day Nutan shared a very secret gossip with Neha and asked her not to reveal it to anybody. But, she revealed it to Bharti and somehow Nutan got to know about this and it just broke her trust. After seeing Nutan upset, she realized that it was her fault that she revealed the secret and broke her best friend's trust. So, One must acknowledge your fault. Whenever they make a mistake and acknowledge that it is important to say sorry to someone they hurt.
One must take responsibility for their actions as it is them who committed the mistake so, they should be responsible for it. Before we accept the next person to forgive our mistake we must admit and be responsible for it. A strong person is the one who keeps his/ her ego aside Is ready to take responsibility for their actions and knows how to apologize for hurting someone you love. When you start accepting your mistake the next person also looks for forgiving you without holding any grudges. Whenever you are saying sorry to someone, never try to push your fault on somebody else's name as it's not at all ethical and it can even ruin your relationships as the next person can feel you are making excuses. Always acknowledge your faults when you might have hurt somebody with your words just because you were under stress or going through something. Solve your own problems first and you can even take stress management counseling if work pressure is making you irritable.
Apologizing with remorse is too important. Remorse means a sense of regret, and guilt for your mistake. As until you hold remorse in your apology when you apologize to someone, the next person will feel like you are just apologizing for a formality and you don't mean it. So, it will even become difficult for them to forgive whatever you did. So, whenever you are willing to ask for an apology make sure you do it with the feeling of remorse in it.
Whenever you think of asking for an apology this is something really important. One should genuinely put in the effort, try to fix up things, and understand how do you say sorry to someone you hurt, etc. It is you who committed the mistake so it is our responsibility to fix it. If the next person sees you genuinely try to fix up things he/she will forgive you for your mistakes. You should never try to fake things as it can lead to serious problems in your relationship or maybe it can even ruin your relationship.
Making them feel that you have realized your mistakes can help them to Forgive you easily and maintain a healthy relationship. So, always try to take the necessary steps to make them feel you have realized your fault. You can do things like write a sorry letter, gift them something they love, make them feel that they matter to you and their upsetness is affecting you a lot.
There is a way of asking for forgiveness i.e you should always ask gently. You should know how to apologize to someone and it should not be like you shout at them and ask for forgiveness that isn't away. For example - Ahana committed a mistake and instead of accepting her fault, she started shouting at her mother who was trying to make her understand her mistake, and at last, it brought her to regret her actions. So, whenever you ask for forgiveness ask gently and one more thing whenever you ask for forgiveness do not expect immediate forgiveness as it is not at all possible. It will take time for the next person to cope with that hurtful feeling so give them time to forgive you.
The problem with most people is that they start making excuses whenever they ask for forgiveness from the next person but that is completely unethical and wrong. You should never push your faults on someone else's name and blame them for saying something that mistook for criticism and even when sometimes you go wrong learn how to handle criticism in life. And trust me these things won't work out. Maybe the next person will forgive you. They will always hold grudges at the back of their mind. So, whenever you are saying sorry to someone you hurt, accept your fault, tell them you realized your mistake, tell them that you are guilty and regret your actions, and assure them that you won't repeat it instead of making any excuses and pushing it on someone else.
You should never try to make the next person feel that they are overreacting. Many people while asking for an apology keep on saying things like " It's not a Big deal ", why are you overreacting over small things, and whatnot. So, admit that this is not a correct way of apologizing for your mistake and get to know how to apologize for hurting someone you love. As this may result in creating misunderstandings between you, maybe the next person can get a feeling that you don't care about their feelings. So, to maintain a good and healthy relationship one must accept their faults, apologize for the same thing, and not make them feel like they are overreacting.
While asking for an apology it is very important to make a promise that you are not going to repeat it. As it assures the next person that this won't happen again and makes it easier for them to forgive whatever you did. Making a promise doesn't mean you will just say it for your namesake but you have to stand by your words and never repeat the same thing.
Making mistakes is human behavior but accepting your faults, understanding your mistakes, feeling remorse for whatever you did, asking for an apology, and promising that you won't repeat it is a great thing. With the help of these tips and suggestions, you can learn the art and science of an effective apology. One must always know how to apologize to someone they hurt for whatever hurtful actions one did. So, I hope this article has helped you to understand your mistake, how to acknowledge it and what is the correct way of asking for an apology.
Thank you! May the next person forgive you for your mistakes.